The Meaning of Dreams

Last night I had two disturbing dreams.  One of them involved doing something work wise that was not my job.  That one was easy to figure out - it was a hard week, and I felt overwhelmed.

The other one involved a snake.  A snake in the grass to be more precise.  The snake followed me, got really close to me, and I was shaking with fear that it would bite me.  Now, most dream interpreters will tell you that I was dreaming about sex.  Nope.

This morning I figured out what this prophetic dream meant.  In my email inbox was a personal email accusing me of doing something shady.  I'm active in my campground association volunteer committee, and we had a board of directors election this weekend.  I was accused of fixing the election.

Now the person who won was NOT the person I voted for, so I guess I didn't do a very good job "fixing the election".  I have a feeling that there is a snake on our volunteer committee that has been waiting for a chance to hurt me.  And today that snake bit.

Poison spreads, and I know that whoever it is that started this lie is a talker.  And folks that don't know any better will assume their lies are true.  So I resigned my spot on the volunteer committee that gets stuff done in the Association.  With that poison out there I won't be very effective at anything I try to do, so in my case it was simply better to amputate the limb.

I've worked really, really, hard for 2 years to make things better here, and it's hard to hear that people will throw rotten eggs at me when all I've ever tried to do is step up and do what no one else was willing to do.

Beware of the snakes in the grass.  They do bite.

99 Days

99 days since surgery!  Here's an update.

Weight loss still at 34 pounds.  For the last month I've slipped a little into my old self-sabotage ways, eating chips, drinking beer, and not working as hard as I should at the exercise front.  I know what I need to do, just have to convince my rather sick mind to do it!

What's changed?

• I certainly look thinner, although I still see the "fat Sandy" in the mirror some days.  I have to keep looking at photos to remind myself of what I really look like.
• I can run a little - today I ran 2 times 60 seconds, 2 times 90 seconds, and 1 time 97 seconds!  That, coming from 2 months ago when I couldn't even manage 20 seconds at a time.
• My resting heart rate is between 66 and 68, done from 80 prior to surgery.
• I've participated in 2 5k's (walked 'em both, but I finished).
• I feel like a human being, participating fully in life, instead of a cave dweller.
• I'm pretty sure I can dump my CPAP machine, although it's almost like a security blanket for me now.

What hasn't changed?

 Mentally, I'm still struggling with why I sabotage my success.  I'm a work in progress!

• My ankles still swell up most days, and it pisses me off.  My blood pressure is actually low (last checked it was 90/60), so I know it's not that...
• My knees still hurt, and occasionally my right hip hurts too.  It sucks to get old.

August 3, 2013

Beer Run August 17, 2013 With My Big Brother

Feasting in Texas! August 8, 2013

Me in 2006, prior to Lap Band

Summer 2010, still struggling!

Texas, Don't Mess With ME!

I'm back in Fort Worth for the week to catch up with my team mates and two days of training.  Well, I was in Fort Worth for about 30 minutes last night, anyway.

I arrived to a sweltering house at 9 pm.  93 degrees inside.  Yes, you heard that right, 93.  Sweat running down my face, I checked the air conditioner thermostat, which was set to 72.  The fan was blowing up a storm, but no cold air was coming out.  I checked the breaker, and sure enough, the fuse was tripped.  Easy fix, I thought to myself, as I flipped the breaker back on.  But no, the compressor outside still didn't come on.  So I grabbed a flashlight and checked the breaker box outside.  It seemed okay, but I flipped it off and on just to be sure.  Damn it, still no compressor.

So I put my suitcases back in the car and drove to the Comfort Suites for the night.  I called the company who installed my aircon 2 years ago and described what was going on.  When I got to the part of "the breaker was tripped", he stopped and asked me to repeat that.  I did, and he said "damn, that's not good".

Sigh.

I'm meeting him at the house at 1 to see what's what.  Good thing I have the Comfort Suites on speed dial!

Oh, and for those of you who read my previous post on why Candy Crush is like life, here's another one:

Chocolate is always evil!