Have you ever REALLY thought about the phrase "keep your eyes peeled"? Ouch!
Why is there Braille on the drive-through ATM, on the driver's side?
Hmmmmm
Friday, December 26, 2008
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Sandy's Year in Review
January: traveled to Guadalajara, Mexico, where I shared a room with pictures of Jesus and found a "La Cucaracha" in my beer. I'm not sure which was worse.
February: lost my luggage on the way to India, but had a fabulous time wearing the traditional Indian garb to my meetings.
March: journeyed to Malta, where history came alive and I swam in the (very) chilly Mediterranean Sea...with blue jeans. Not recommended.
April: went horse-back riding, petted goats, and had loads of fun at an offsite meeting.
May: moved to my Summer Palace. Also went to the "Big Apple" for a great dinner. I'm sure I did more than just eat, but that's what I remember. Oh yeah, and met a cute guy there that grew up near where I did.
Took delivery of my new 43-foot Summer Palace at the end of the month. After spending several hours packing and moving all my stuff out to the lawn we got to move everything back in and unpack. In-between we sat on lawn chairs and watched the workers setting up my new home. Five stars for the entertainment value.
Planted herbs, tomatoes, marigolds, and hostas in my garden. The chives were already ready for harvest by the time I got there, which made for delicious scrambled egg breakfasts.
June: worked really really hard on one of the biggest RFPs (Request for Proposal) my company has ever done. And found out just this week that we've won the business! Yahoo!
Huge hail storm damages both my brand new camper and my car, but the insurance check makes me feel better.
July: spent quality time with my sister-in-law staining their camper. Two days on a ladder in a bathing suit. Good for a tan, but not so much for neighborly relations when the top came off by accident...twice.
Flew to Salt Lake City, Utah, where I had Polygamy Porter for the first time. Not kidding - it's a real beer. Drank way too much of it to celebrate my friend's birthday while we were there.
August: had the best month ever at the lake - lots of sun, fun, and long afternoons on the Sandbar. Had cedar plank salmon on the grill for the first time (yummy).
September: ate lots of tomatoes, and basil, and thyme, and oregano, and chives.
Packed the car and moved back to the Winter Palace after inheriting good stuff from a neighbor who left the park.
October: went back to Salt Lake for more Polygamy Porter.
My annual physical revealed that I had normal blood test results for the first time in about 10 years. Must have been all the beer I drank over the summer.
November: turned 48 and settled into Texas day-to-day, including having my cats wake me up at the crack of dawn every morning. Even on the weekends and while on vacation.
December: took a long holiday, went to a couple of parties, and enjoyed watching the birds come to the feeders. This is the time of year I get to see woodpeckers, Carolina chickadees, tufted titmouse, and some strange looking goldfinches, in addition to the normal cardinals, blue jays, and squirrels.
In summary, I had a pretty darn good year again. I not only can't complain - I must celebrate!
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.
February: lost my luggage on the way to India, but had a fabulous time wearing the traditional Indian garb to my meetings.
March: journeyed to Malta, where history came alive and I swam in the (very) chilly Mediterranean Sea...with blue jeans. Not recommended.April: went horse-back riding, petted goats, and had loads of fun at an offsite meeting.
May: moved to my Summer Palace. Also went to the "Big Apple" for a great dinner. I'm sure I did more than just eat, but that's what I remember. Oh yeah, and met a cute guy there that grew up near where I did.
Took delivery of my new 43-foot Summer Palace at the end of the month. After spending several hours packing and moving all my stuff out to the lawn we got to move everything back in and unpack. In-between we sat on lawn chairs and watched the workers setting up my new home. Five stars for the entertainment value.
Planted herbs, tomatoes, marigolds, and hostas in my garden. The chives were already ready for harvest by the time I got there, which made for delicious scrambled egg breakfasts.
June: worked really really hard on one of the biggest RFPs (Request for Proposal) my company has ever done. And found out just this week that we've won the business! Yahoo!
Huge hail storm damages both my brand new camper and my car, but the insurance check makes me feel better.
July: spent quality time with my sister-in-law staining their camper. Two days on a ladder in a bathing suit. Good for a tan, but not so much for neighborly relations when the top came off by accident...twice.
Flew to Salt Lake City, Utah, where I had Polygamy Porter for the first time. Not kidding - it's a real beer. Drank way too much of it to celebrate my friend's birthday while we were there.
August: had the best month ever at the lake - lots of sun, fun, and long afternoons on the Sandbar. Had cedar plank salmon on the grill for the first time (yummy).
September: ate lots of tomatoes, and basil, and thyme, and oregano, and chives.
Packed the car and moved back to the Winter Palace after inheriting good stuff from a neighbor who left the park.
October: went back to Salt Lake for more Polygamy Porter.
My annual physical revealed that I had normal blood test results for the first time in about 10 years. Must have been all the beer I drank over the summer.
November: turned 48 and settled into Texas day-to-day, including having my cats wake me up at the crack of dawn every morning. Even on the weekends and while on vacation.
December: took a long holiday, went to a couple of parties, and enjoyed watching the birds come to the feeders. This is the time of year I get to see woodpeckers, Carolina chickadees, tufted titmouse, and some strange looking goldfinches, in addition to the normal cardinals, blue jays, and squirrels.
In summary, I had a pretty darn good year again. I not only can't complain - I must celebrate!
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Merry Christmas All You F***king Morons Out There
Today I woke up with the thought - this is my last day of work for the rest of the year! Yahoo!
I joined my first conference call of the day at 8 am. The leader casually announced that there would be another demo tomorrow for the extended core team. Being the only one that has conducted the demos so far, I asked "who is doing the demo since I'm on vacation?"
Silence.
"Well, I guess I hadn't told you about the meeting yet. Can you do the demo?"
I grudgingly agreed, even whilst knowing that it wouldn't be just the demo - I'd have to test it and work with the developers all day if there were problems. Merry Christmas Mr. Program Manager.
There were several weather warnings out last night, and some of the local roads were slick. I was working from home anyway, so I didn't care. Mid-morning a big shot in the company sent out a message to the entire division saying that he was all for safety, but it seemed to him that people were taking advantage and working from home because of the warnings. Merry Christmas Mr. Cranky Big Shot.
I went to the grocery store after work to pick up some holiday cheer. The lines were long, and the cashier seemed really really slow. Finally, only one more person in front of me. I unloaded my cart on to the conveyor belt.
"Ma'am", another cashier said, "I can get you over here".
"But I've already unloaded my cart - I'll just wait."
"She needs to go home - you need to come over here."
Sigh. So I reloaded my cart and brought it over to the next line. Merry Christmas Ms. Thing Cashier.
Payment made, I headed out to the parking lot. A white sedan backed half way out just in front of me and then stopped.
"Good - he sees me. He'll make eye contact with me so I can safely walk behind his car" I thought.
But no - this particular brand of pathetic loser backs half way out, stops while still in reverse, lights a cigarette and then pops a mini, one of those miniature drink bottles you used to get on airplanes. He only finished backing up after he threw the mini out the window into the parking lot.
Merry Christmas you moronic, idiotic, hideously stupid man in the white sedan.
I joined my first conference call of the day at 8 am. The leader casually announced that there would be another demo tomorrow for the extended core team. Being the only one that has conducted the demos so far, I asked "who is doing the demo since I'm on vacation?"
Silence.
"Well, I guess I hadn't told you about the meeting yet. Can you do the demo?"
I grudgingly agreed, even whilst knowing that it wouldn't be just the demo - I'd have to test it and work with the developers all day if there were problems. Merry Christmas Mr. Program Manager.
There were several weather warnings out last night, and some of the local roads were slick. I was working from home anyway, so I didn't care. Mid-morning a big shot in the company sent out a message to the entire division saying that he was all for safety, but it seemed to him that people were taking advantage and working from home because of the warnings. Merry Christmas Mr. Cranky Big Shot.
I went to the grocery store after work to pick up some holiday cheer. The lines were long, and the cashier seemed really really slow. Finally, only one more person in front of me. I unloaded my cart on to the conveyor belt.
"Ma'am", another cashier said, "I can get you over here".
"But I've already unloaded my cart - I'll just wait."
"She needs to go home - you need to come over here."
Sigh. So I reloaded my cart and brought it over to the next line. Merry Christmas Ms. Thing Cashier.
Payment made, I headed out to the parking lot. A white sedan backed half way out just in front of me and then stopped.
"Good - he sees me. He'll make eye contact with me so I can safely walk behind his car" I thought.
But no - this particular brand of pathetic loser backs half way out, stops while still in reverse, lights a cigarette and then pops a mini, one of those miniature drink bottles you used to get on airplanes. He only finished backing up after he threw the mini out the window into the parking lot.
Merry Christmas you moronic, idiotic, hideously stupid man in the white sedan.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Jealous Thoughts
It hit 78 degrees here in Texas today, while North Dakota and Minnesota suffered a blizzard, with 8-10 inches of snow.
But...it WAS windy this weekend. So windy that while I was shoe shopping at a local store I heard the wind whistling through the emergency exit door. It sounded so forlorn and cold that it brought me right back to my childhood where I had the bedroom on the north side of the house. The winter wind would beat at the house, and the snow pellets would patter on my window, composing a symphony throughout the night.
My childhood house was built in 1959, and although well built, my bedroom had cracks and crevices where the frigid wind would slither through. I loved it though. Mom would pile mounds of blankets on my bed until I got warm. I especially remember a homemade quilt she picked up somewhere - a garage sale, flea market, church lottery maybe? It was a patchwork of fabrics, held together with yarn pieced through the middle of each square. I wonder if it was some family's clothes all cut up and sewed together as a memory quilt. Did the maker intend for it to end up on a stranger's bed?
To this day I have to have a cold room to sleep in. Even better if it's a cold room and lots of blankets.
So it turns out that I'm actually jealous of all of you. As children we looked forward to blizzards - no school for one thing. And it changed up the day-to-day routine a bit. Dad didn't have to go to work for one thing. I'm sure Mom was a nervous wreck during storms - I remember her fretting that we were all going to suffocate or the roof was going to cave in. Dad was much more pragmatic - he knew he'd sell more snow blowers at our hardware store when it was all over.
I hope that you all huddle up together and enjoy the storm. It's nature's way of telling you to slow down and spend more time together!
But...it WAS windy this weekend. So windy that while I was shoe shopping at a local store I heard the wind whistling through the emergency exit door. It sounded so forlorn and cold that it brought me right back to my childhood where I had the bedroom on the north side of the house. The winter wind would beat at the house, and the snow pellets would patter on my window, composing a symphony throughout the night.
My childhood house was built in 1959, and although well built, my bedroom had cracks and crevices where the frigid wind would slither through. I loved it though. Mom would pile mounds of blankets on my bed until I got warm. I especially remember a homemade quilt she picked up somewhere - a garage sale, flea market, church lottery maybe? It was a patchwork of fabrics, held together with yarn pieced through the middle of each square. I wonder if it was some family's clothes all cut up and sewed together as a memory quilt. Did the maker intend for it to end up on a stranger's bed?
To this day I have to have a cold room to sleep in. Even better if it's a cold room and lots of blankets.
So it turns out that I'm actually jealous of all of you. As children we looked forward to blizzards - no school for one thing. And it changed up the day-to-day routine a bit. Dad didn't have to go to work for one thing. I'm sure Mom was a nervous wreck during storms - I remember her fretting that we were all going to suffocate or the roof was going to cave in. Dad was much more pragmatic - he knew he'd sell more snow blowers at our hardware store when it was all over.
I hope that you all huddle up together and enjoy the storm. It's nature's way of telling you to slow down and spend more time together!
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