Random Things That Make Me Go Hmmmm

Have you ever REALLY thought about the phrase "keep your eyes peeled"? Ouch!

Why is there Braille on the drive-through ATM, on the driver's side?

Hmmmmm

Sandy's Year in Review

January: traveled to Guadalajara, Mexico, where I shared a room with pictures of Jesus and found a "La Cucaracha" in my beer. I'm not sure which was worse.

February: lost my luggage on the way to India, but had a fabulous time wearing the traditional Indian garb to my meetings.

March: journeyed to Malta, where history came alive and I swam in the (very) chilly Mediterranean Sea...with blue jeans. Not recommended.

April: went horse-back riding, petted goats, and had loads of fun at an offsite meeting.

May: moved to my Summer Palace. Also went to the "Big Apple" for a great dinner. I'm sure I did more than just eat, but that's what I remember. Oh yeah, and met a cute guy there that grew up near where I did.

Took delivery of my new 43-foot Summer Palace at the end of the month. After spending several hours packing and moving all my stuff out to the lawn we got to move everything back in and unpack. In-between we sat on lawn chairs and watched the workers setting up my new home. Five stars for the entertainment value.

Planted herbs, tomatoes, marigolds, and hostas in my garden. The chives were already ready for harvest by the time I got there, which made for delicious scrambled egg breakfasts.

June: worked really really hard on one of the biggest RFPs (Request for Proposal) my company has ever done. And found out just this week that we've won the business! Yahoo!

Huge hail storm damages both my brand new camper and my car, but the insurance check makes me feel better.

July: spent quality time with my sister-in-law staining their camper. Two days on a ladder in a bathing suit. Good for a tan, but not so much for neighborly relations when the top came off by accident...twice.

Flew to Salt Lake City, Utah, where I had Polygamy Porter for the first time. Not kidding - it's a real beer. Drank way too much of it to celebrate my friend's birthday while we were there.

August: had the best month ever at the lake - lots of sun, fun, and long afternoons on the Sandbar. Had cedar plank salmon on the grill for the first time (yummy).

September: ate lots of tomatoes, and basil, and thyme, and oregano, and chives.

Packed the car and moved back to the Winter Palace after inheriting good stuff from a neighbor who left the park.

October: went back to Salt Lake for more Polygamy Porter.

My annual physical revealed that I had normal blood test results for the first time in about 10 years. Must have been all the beer I drank over the summer.

November: turned 48 and settled into Texas day-to-day, including having my cats wake me up at the crack of dawn every morning. Even on the weekends and while on vacation.

December: took a long holiday, went to a couple of parties, and enjoyed watching the birds come to the feeders. This is the time of year I get to see woodpeckers, Carolina chickadees, tufted titmouse, and some strange looking goldfinches, in addition to the normal cardinals, blue jays, and squirrels.

In summary, I had a pretty darn good year again. I not only can't complain - I must celebrate!

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

Season's Greetings

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Merry Christmas All You F***king Morons Out There

Today I woke up with the thought - this is my last day of work for the rest of the year! Yahoo!

I joined my first conference call of the day at 8 am. The leader casually announced that there would be another demo tomorrow for the extended core team. Being the only one that has conducted the demos so far, I asked "who is doing the demo since I'm on vacation?"

Silence.

"Well, I guess I hadn't told you about the meeting yet. Can you do the demo?"

I grudgingly agreed, even whilst knowing that it wouldn't be just the demo - I'd have to test it and work with the developers all day if there were problems. Merry Christmas Mr. Program Manager.

There were several weather warnings out last night, and some of the local roads were slick. I was working from home anyway, so I didn't care. Mid-morning a big shot in the company sent out a message to the entire division saying that he was all for safety, but it seemed to him that people were taking advantage and working from home because of the warnings. Merry Christmas Mr. Cranky Big Shot.

I went to the grocery store after work to pick up some holiday cheer. The lines were long, and the cashier seemed really really slow. Finally, only one more person in front of me. I unloaded my cart on to the conveyor belt.

"Ma'am", another cashier said, "I can get you over here".

"But I've already unloaded my cart - I'll just wait."

"She needs to go home - you need to come over here."

Sigh. So I reloaded my cart and brought it over to the next line. Merry Christmas Ms. Thing Cashier.

Payment made, I headed out to the parking lot. A white sedan backed half way out just in front of me and then stopped.

"Good - he sees me. He'll make eye contact with me so I can safely walk behind his car" I thought.

But no - this particular brand of pathetic loser backs half way out, stops while still in reverse, lights a cigarette and then pops a mini, one of those miniature drink bottles you used to get on airplanes. He only finished backing up after he threw the mini out the window into the parking lot.

Merry Christmas you moronic, idiotic, hideously stupid man in the white sedan.

Jealous Thoughts

It hit 78 degrees here in Texas today, while North Dakota and Minnesota suffered a blizzard, with 8-10 inches of snow.

But...it WAS windy this weekend. So windy that while I was shoe shopping at a local store I heard the wind whistling through the emergency exit door. It sounded so forlorn and cold that it brought me right back to my childhood where I had the bedroom on the north side of the house. The winter wind would beat at the house, and the snow pellets would patter on my window, composing a symphony throughout the night.

My childhood house was built in 1959, and although well built, my bedroom had cracks and crevices where the frigid wind would slither through. I loved it though. Mom would pile mounds of blankets on my bed until I got warm. I especially remember a homemade quilt she picked up somewhere - a garage sale, flea market, church lottery maybe? It was a patchwork of fabrics, held together with yarn pieced through the middle of each square. I wonder if it was some family's clothes all cut up and sewed together as a memory quilt. Did the maker intend for it to end up on a stranger's bed?

To this day I have to have a cold room to sleep in. Even better if it's a cold room and lots of blankets.

So it turns out that I'm actually jealous of all of you. As children we looked forward to blizzards - no school for one thing. And it changed up the day-to-day routine a bit. Dad didn't have to go to work for one thing. I'm sure Mom was a nervous wreck during storms - I remember her fretting that we were all going to suffocate or the roof was going to cave in. Dad was much more pragmatic - he knew he'd sell more snow blowers at our hardware store when it was all over.

I hope that you all huddle up together and enjoy the storm. It's nature's way of telling you to slow down and spend more time together!

What is Going On?

Riots have closed the airport in Bangkok. I have a friend there that has been trying to leave Thailand since yesterday, and the protesters refuse to vacate the airport. He says that they are leaving the tourists alone - they're protesting the government.

And now, Mumbai (formerly Bombay), is under attack by terrorists. They are specifically looking for American and European passports. The two main hotels we use for business are both on fire and multiple explosions have gone off. A "police" van drove by a crowd of people and opened fire.

I really hope that nobody I know is in Mumbai on business this week.

Autumn Urges

Every year around this time it happens. I get the itch that I have to scratch.

I buy things. It's different every year. Last year I think it was a new laptop computer. Before that it was a plasma TV. Other years have seen me purchasing new furniture. This year it's everything in sight. Nothing big (yet), but I've been indulging the urge to spend by buying clothes, shoes, boots, jewelry, towels, etc. My toilet seat broke yesterday, so today I headed to Target to get a new one. The new toilet seat cost me $14.99. Everything else in the store cost me $200.00.

What Is There To Be Happy About?

Layoffs.

No bonuses this year. Raise? Not for several years.

Retirement fund down 60%.

To quote John McCain, 'the news is grim, my friends". The economy has tanked, and the world is suffering right along with us. Me? I've been working 14-hour days on stressful projects with very little recognition. Every bone in my body hurts, and it's hard to get out of bed most days.

So what's right with the world? Glad you asked!

This morning, I was gently awakened by my cat Sam when he touched my cheek at first light. Once he had my attention, he snuggled next to me, with his cheek pressed against mine, and his paw on my nose. On cue, Grace curled into a ball on my pillow, neatly pressed into the space between my neck and my head. Blue Bell, the chatty cat, stood on my chest and tried to wake me up, and when he failed, sat patiently waiting for me to rise up and feed him. Sydney, my constant, loyal, 17-year old, purred next to me. When I finally got out of bed, I did him a favor and lifted him to the floor, knowing that his bones must ache just like mine.

I got to work at 0715, well before most. It was a quiet day, but filled with conversations with coworkers - friends really. In tough times, it's amazing how we come together to face the world with a united front. It truly takes a village to survive. I spent 4 hours with a former (and potential) customer from Latin America. They were so gracious, kind, and appreciative, and I felt like I wanted to swim in their love for a month of days.

In the coming days, I fear that people I know and respect will lose their jobs. I feel immune, but of course I'm not. My head is just firmly embedded in the sand of illusion. I'm just as vulnerable as anyone. Working in the travel industry in the best of times is crazy. In the worst of times it's plain suicide. I can only hope that the bloodletting is slow and a new world arrives in time to save us.

The Promise

The promise of what America can be.

Tonight, history was made when the first black man was elected President of the United States. More importantly, a good man was elected. I believe that Obama brings us hope. I believe that Obama can unite us. I know that something really significant happened tonight. In my lifetime, we have gone from not allowing black people to drink from the same water fountain as whites, to electing a black man to be President.

When Bad Things Happen

A friend called me yesterday morning to ask me if the person mentioned in the newspaper was the same person that was my buddy since 1989.

The person from the paper had been on the highway at 5 am Friday morning, weaving in and out of traffic in his BMW, and was suspected of forcing another vehicle to leave the highway, resulting in the death of the other driver. My friend was unhurt, but taken to the hospital and given a blood test for intoxication. His arrest, according to the paper, was for manslaughter by intoxication.

The details were right, so I knew it was him. Last time I saw him was at a Christmas party last year, when he took me to his bosses house. I tried to get his keys unsuccessfully that night, and was terrified the whole drive home. Since it brought back memories of my father driving drunk with his whole family in the car, I haven't spoken to him since.

So of course I'm full of guilty feelings. What if I had gotten the keys from him at Christmas and forced him to admit he had a problem? What if I at least stayed in contact with him?

So how do you support someone who has killed someone else? There but for the grace of God go I. How many times have I driven when I knew I shouldn't?

It Was A Triumph, Darling

A couple of weeks ago, someone on my team invited me to a meeting to talk about an event being planned for prospective customers. They wanted my input and ideas. In reality, they had no ideas!

So I wrote a script for an interactive play that would make real the benefits of our software solution. I was the playwright, casting director, one of the actors, and director. Word got around about what was being planned, and our company executives seemed to like the concept, but since nothing like this had ever been done before, everyone (including and especially me) was plenty nervous. We had 8 airlines coming from China, Brazil, the US, Algeria, Chile, and Canada. I was worried about the different cultures coming together - would they think it was fun or painful?

Wednesday night I helped set up the ballroom of the hotel. Our set included check-in desks, a VIP lounge (complete with bar), economy waiting area, and even a plane. We handed out unique characters to each customer (I wrote those too) and asked them to act the part. It seemed like all the men got women characters and vice versa, which was pretty funny.Two of the characters I wrote were a grandmother and teenage granddaughter. A man from Brazil was the grandmother, and a Chinese man was the granddaughter. When we called early boarding for passengers needing extra assistance, they walked hand in hand to the steps, grandma walking with a limp. I didn't write that part, but they were having so much fun they did it anyway!

My boss played the First Officer of my fictional airline, and my Senior Vice President was our Captain. My SVP told me that morning (before the show) that he rarely ever says "wow", but he was saying it now. The event was a rousing success, and two of the prospective customers even asked us to take our show on the road to perform for their executives. One of my friends from London was in town, and he said that after a successful performance, stage players say "It was a triumph, darling". I thought that summed it up well.

I Did Something Today I Haven't Done in 28 Years

Oh stop thinking you know what it is. And you - get your mind out of the gutter right now.

The last time I did this, I was 20 years old. The Philadelphia Phillies won their first (and only) World Series that year.

A month after I did it, John Lennon was shot and killed (not that I had anything to do with it).

Drum roll please....

Today, I voted.

And before you start yelling at your computer monitor about how un-American I am, let me tell you this. I feel bad. I should have voted in countless elections - God knows I had an opinion on some of them. But apathy has rules my political life since 1980.

So what broke me out of my habitual laziness? This is the first year I really felt like what was happening was impacting me personally. My retirement fund lost more than $70,000 in a matter of weeks, and I didn't have that much to begin with. I never agreed with the war in Iraq, and I've been proven right. I travel internationally a lot, and the last couple of years I've been a little nervous. I haven't gone so far as some of my coworkers that put a Canadian flag on everything they own in order to fool people into thinking they're not American, but it's a little scary walking around some places these days.

And the folks getting Social Security are getting a cost of living raise - about time. The Minimum Wage is going up too - again, about time. But I haven't had a raise, cost of living or otherwise, for several years either. Don't get me wrong - I have a good standard of living, and I've been lucky - I love my job. I just wish I could really experience the "American Dream" by paying off my credit cards, car, mortgage, etc. and getting that lake house in Minnesota.

Am I asking for too much?

Cleaning & Other Thoughts

The winter doldrums have officially set in.

During the summer in Minnesota, I worked hard all day (and some nights). Friday afternoon I'd race around to clean the place up in preparation for the weekend. I'd finish in about 45 minutes or so.

Here in Texas, I work hard all day (and some nights). I don't race around in preparation for the weekend, because I have nothing to look forward to. What took me 45 minutes at the lake never gets done. 400 square feet to clean vs. 1500 square feet; no cat hair vs. 6 cats that spread themselves everywhere; energy to spare 'cuz it's almost lake time vs. no energy 'cuz it's just another weekend.

In brighter news, I've got some social events coming up to look forward to.

First up is our semi-annual customer conference, here in Texas this time. It's always a good time seeing folks from around the globe and spending the nights partying with them.

My buddy Lisa is a singer and songwriter, and she's singing at the best hotel/restaurant in Dallas November 7. She says that there are lots of single rich dudes that hang out there, and I get to hang out at the bar all night on her dime. I'm practicing the phrase "I'm with the band" in preparation. She also sings at Dallas Cowboy games, and gets a suite for the game. I guess I need to learn more about football and country music!

Then December 6 our boss is having a Christmas party, even though our company has put the kibosh on spending money. He's always paid for it out of his own pocket anyway, and this year is no different.

Then Christmas parties and open houses. The last Christmas party is held in mid-January every year by a former executive with our company. He's been inviting me for years, and I've only been able to make it twice. He and his wife are great folks, so I hope I can make it this year.

Church vs State

I heard on the radio today that a Catholic diocese here in Fort Worth had issued a letter telling Catholics that if they vote for a candidate that supports legal abortion they'll burn in hell. It was read in Mass last Sunday in some, if not all, Fort Worth churches.

Here's my opinion. Whether it's a Catholic, Muslim, Baptist, Buddhist, Morman, Hindu, or Jewish religion, you have no business messing with the politics. If you choose to do so, you need to lose your tax-exempt status! I think it's fine to come out against abortion if that's what the church stance is, but to suggest that voting for a particular candidate is "morally impermissible" goes too far.

I'm all for free speech - but only for those that pay taxes.

What do you think?

Salt Lake City Silly

I spent a couple of days in Salt Lake City this week on business. The weather was crisp, the skies were sunny, and the mountains were gorgeous.

I got upgraded to First Class both ways, so life was good. And I got to enjoy one of my favorite beers while there - Polygamy Porter. Their slogan is "Why have just one?".

GPS Adventures

I was told several years ago that I have a directional dyslexia disorder, meaning I get lost a lot. Well-meaning folks try to give me directions, and don't understand why I can't find the place. In my head, I have the same response if someone asked me to multiply the square root of pi by 5106. My neurons go into overdrive and shoot sparks everywhere until everything shorts out.

So last year I broke down and bought a Tom Tom. Finally, I thought, I'll never get lost again.

Right.

A couple of times it has told me to turn right...into a river. Bad things can happen if you rely on a GPS.

Today, I set it for my doctor's appointment in downtown Fort Worth. "You have reached your destination", it said. I looked around, and said, "right". If my destination is a mortuary in a very bad part of town I have reached my destination. Guessing I wasn't dead yet, I checked the address I put in. Well, the darn thing is picky, and wants to know if I'm going to East Terrell or West Terrell. I picked the wrong one, and ended up several miles off target.

I love technology, and this device has saved my butt more than once. And, until I'm rich and have my own driver, it's the best I'm gonna get.

Diet Days

I went to the local grocery store this afternoon, where the after-church crowd was in full force. Ladies wearing their Sunday best (including hats) jammed the aisles. As I was waiting to check out, I looked at the basket of the folks in front of me.

Potato chips, tortilla chips, sausage, Dr. Pepper, and...one Lean Cuisine. It made me laugh, until I looked at my own cart.

A twelve-pack of Slim Fast, chicken tenders, and a six-pack of beer. Hopefully the Slim Fast will balance out the beer. I guess those that live in glass houses....

Regional Differences

I had to laugh when, in the middle of the biggest economic crisis we've seen since the Great Depression, I opened my browser to the Fargo Forum homepage.

"Breaking News", it said. "AC/DC to play in Fargo in January".

Wow.

A couple of times since I've been back in Texas, I find myself following pickup trucks with "In Memory of..." stenciled on the back windshield or even on the truck body. What's that all about?

Rules of Travel

Under the things NOT to do the night before you drive from Minnesota to Texas:

1) Go to "The Palm Tree People's" camper. Almost everyone in the campground has a nickname, some already given, and some from necessity. The Palm Tree People are so named because they used to have one of those electric palm trees that we could see from my brother's camper. We know their names now (Dave and Doreen), but that's too hard to remember. Other good nicknames (that I can mention in public) are "Norm", which is the owner of the campground after the famous Cheers character, "The Sloppy Stucco Guy", who I named myself because of his job and his penchant for leaving all sorts of paraphenalia outside his camper, and "Fred and Ethel", because his name is Fred and he's the right age, and we can't ever remember his wife's name.

2) Participate in drinking games. One was when Fred came down with a big brown bag full of those little bottles of booze, and you had to drink whatever you pulled out of it. Another was when the caps from the Kahlua and the Mudslide bottles were thrown into the fire and the bottle was passed around until they were gone. Ugh. My sister-in-law was putting the bottles in her pocket and not swigging from the bottles. Wish she would have told me those tricks.

3) Stay out until 2 am.

4) Drop your Blackberry at the campfire and have someone step on it. It was found in pieces the next morning. Shane, the guy who found it put it together as best as he could and put it by the heater to dry out. Thank goodness it worked or I would have had to drive two days without a phone.

When I woke up the next morning at 8, I thought about just sleeping in and leaving Sunday instead. But I pushed my butt out of bed and started cleaning and loading up the car. I told everyone the night before that my plans were to leave between 10 and noon, and I left at 11.

Until I hit Iowa I thought about pulling over several times, my stomach heaving and my head about to burst. But I made it to Council Bluffs, and that's where number 5 rule comes into play.

5) Book your hotel reservation before you leave. Both hotels I had in mind were sold out! Luckily, a kind front desk person called another hotel for me and I was able to get a room. It was a little run down, with peeling wallpaper and a funny disinfectant smell, but I didn't care much.

Today I drove the final 10 hours to Texas, and I still have the strength to post. Go me!

Goodbye Summer Palace

Today is my last day in Minnesota - the campground closes for the season Sunday, and I have a two-day drive ahead of me. It doesn't seem fair that I have to leave now with the leaves still turning and a high of 80 degrees today. But the geese are flying south, and I must follow them.

Back to the city life, where temperatures are still hovering in the 90's. Back to going into an office most days, fighting for parking and for a desk (I don't have an assigned cube).

No more weekend campfires, no more lazy days on the sandbar. No more Zorbaz pizza, no more walks in the woods.

Sigh.

Okay, I'm done with the depression. I can look forward to seeing my friends in Texas for the next seven months. And I won't have to drive 4 hours to get to the airport in order to get a cheap fare. And there are birds in Texas too, and lots of squirrels. And possums, raccoons, and lizards to watch.

And no propane tanks to fill. No more scary days and nights when the wind threatens to blow my house down.

Is it May yet?

The Pelican Witch Project

Tonight, five of us were sitting around a campfire when we heard coyotes howling. That's a creepy sound itself, and not often heard around here. Or maybe we hear it and mistake it for distant parties. We are on the edge of a swamp, with woods behind it, and rolling hills behind the swamp.

In the middle of a conversation, we heard a bone-chilling sound coming from across the swamp, and we all stopped to listen. I have to say it was the freakiest sound I've ever heard, and lasted for about a minute to a minute and a half. Tiffany got up on the picnic table to listen closer, and we all stood up to see if we could see what was making the noise. It was a horrible noise, obviously made by an animal of some kind - in distress. Then we heard a splash, and the horrible sound stopped. Bryce, Tiffany's husband, was out of his chair and halfway up the road thinking that whatever we heard was coming for us.

A neighbor came by a few minutes later, wanting to know if we had heard the same thing. Several of the witnesses were seasoned deer hunters, and figure that we heard a deer being attacked by coyote, and finally falling in the water. No matter what the explanation, it was a freak-out moment for all of us. Little dogs are being locked inside campers tonight, and we're all on edge. Not a sound we'll ever forget.

A Blessed Life

Sometimes it's the unexpected phone call that makes me count my blessings.

I've had a chronic toothache for several months, but it has gotten really bad in the last week or so. My doctor in Texas has seen me twice for it, taken the X-rays, done the due diligence, and still found nothing wrong. This last week the pain got so bad I went to see a dentist in Moorhead (about an hour from here). He did the same things, told me to get an over-the-counter mouthguard and call him if the pain got to be unbearable. So frustrating!

I posted on Facebook that I was miserable with a toothache, and was surprised at how many people commented on my status. I guess pain is a common bond. One of the people that commented was my friend who is married to a dentist. I've met her husband a couple of times over drinks and dinner, and had a great time talking about travel, politics, and life.

Tonight, my cell phone rang, and it was my friend and her husband - they were worried about me and wanted to see if there was anything they could do. He even cleared his calendar for me so I can see him as soon as I get back to Texas, and promised to get to the root of my pain, and fix it. He's not my regular dentist, but he just might be from now on.

So I'm a little overwhelmed with gratitude right now. People who aren't family and who aren't even that close to me cared enough to share their gift wtih me. Out of the ordinary people, and out of the ordinary kindness.

Thank you Suke and Purvi - from the bottom of my heart. And tooth.

A Walk In The Woods

I took a walk in the woods this afternoon. How peaceful it was back there!

I ran into this little guy fussing at me for disturbing the peace.

View From A Hill

Late Summer Walk

I took a break this afternoon and took a walk around the campground. So few people are here now, it's peaceful, and it finally stopped raining. I stopped here and there to pick wildflowers and take pictures. As I was returning, I ran into Dave, the campground owner.

"Picking weeds, eh?"

So much for my lovely image of myself walking through a field of wildflowers and seeing the man of my dreams in the distance running towards me.

I told Dave about Hurricane Ike making a beeline for my Winter Palace this weekend.

"Uff Da", he said.

I guess that says it all.

Church Key Whore

My family knows that I have a habit of going home with things that don't belong to me such as can koozies and silverware. I don't mean to - I just forget to bring my own. It most often happens when we take the boat out - there is a whole compartment packed with koozies, and if I'm not finished with my beverage when we get home I take the koozie with me.

Two weekends ago I ended up with 4 koozies and one church key. If the term church key isn't familiar to you, it's simply a bottle opener with one sharp end and one square end, so you could open a can of evaporated milk for instance, or a beer. I use the beer end quite frequently.

So last weekend I put the koozies and the church key in a bag and delivered it to my family. My sister-in-law was beside herself, having already blamed my brother for the mysterious disappearance of the church key. I went right out and bought two of my own so it wouldn't happen again.

That night at the campfire, I put my cooler next to me with one of my new church keys on top. One of the toddlers visiting walked away with it unbeknownst to me.

My sister-in-law blurted out "you're a church key whore!" We giggled for awhile, then went back to the stillness of a campfire on a cold night.

Risky or Risque?

WASHINGTON (AP) - People calling a federal phone number seeking information on how to order Duck Stamps are instead greeted by a phone-sex line, due to a printing error that the government says would be too expensive to correct.

The carrier card for the Duck Stamp transposes two numbers, so instead of listing 1-800-782-6724, it lists 1-800-872-6724. The first number spells out 1-800-STAMP24, while the second number spells out 1-800-TRAMP24.

People calling that second number are welcomed by ``Intimate Connections,' and enticed to ``Talk only to the girls that turn you on.' The cost is $1.99 a minute.

The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service, which runs the Duck Stamp program, says it would cost around $300,000 to reprint the cards. The agency says it won't do that because such a move would take away needed funds for wildlife conservation.

Wussies, Wimps, and Wienies

Campers are pulling out of the campground today in droves. Just because it's the day after Labor Day doesn't mean that it's the end of summer, right?

Who cares that the high temperature today is 61 and it's not going to get much warmer than that all week? That's what a good campfire is for. And layering. And sweatshirts. And double layers of socks.

Who cares that all the kids are back in school? They get a better education watching their silly parents try to ride a wakeboard.

Me? I have tomatoes to pick. And I enjoy having the windows open all day without turning the air conditioning on. I might just go for a long walk now that I won't be all sweaty by the time I hit the end of the deck.

Late Night Thoughts

Why am I here? I could be anywhere in the world, yet I choose this place to be...right now.

Karoke took the center stage tonight in the campground. Young, old, and in-between sat in chairs and on picnic tables for the potluck and evening entertainment. My friends and neighbors took the golf carts up to the community center with coolers loaded with beverages and watched while grandpas sang with their grandchildren, kids sang with kids, and some truly talented people sang for real.

"Sean from Colorado" was there, along with mullet man, sloppy stucco guy, and other assorted characters.

Here I'm told I speak with a southern accent. Funny, 'cuz down south I'm told I have a North Dakota accent.

Last night I was picked up in a golf cart by a neighbor, and we visited several campfires before we finally finished at 3:30 this morning. We laughed. We talked. We drank...way too much.

Unable to sleep, I got out of bed at 8:30 this morning and made homemade salsa, hearty beans in the crockpot, and coffee. After chopping up jalapenos I got into the shower and rubbed my eyes. Bad idea. I thought I might be blinded for life after rubbing jalapeno oil into both eyes. A few hours later the tips of my fingers still burned, even though I had washed them with soap several times. Note to self: wear gloves next time I chop jalapenos.

Note to self: don't blog late in the evening after karoke and many drinks.

Simple Things

It is that time of the year where the earth is abundant and bursting with food. I finished the last slice of tomato pie at lunch - what would I eat for supper?

Duh. I've been picking tons of cherry tomatoes every day. And my basil is tall and fragrant. So for supper I cooked up some penne pasta and added fresh basil, garlic, mozzarella, and quartered cherry tomatoes. A little salt, pepper and olive oil, and I had a feast on my hands.

Tomorrow I'm off to Milwaukee on business. Then back to my lush, fragrant garden which provides me with most of what I need to make me happy.

Tomato Pie:

1 9-inch deep dish pie crust from the frozen food section
2 to 4 large, ripe tomatoes fresh from the garden, peeled and sliced
1/2 c. fresh basil, chopped
1/2 lb. bacon, cooked and crumbled
3 green onions, sliced thin
1 t. dried oregano, or fresh if you have it (and I do)
1 t. garlic powder or garlic salt
1/2 t. red pepper flakes or cajun seasoning
1/t c. mayo
2 c. shredded cheese, like taco flavored, or tomato basil flavored

Preheat oven to 375.

To peel the tomatoes, cut an X in the bottom of each and dunk into boiling water for a few seconds. Then you can easily peel the skin off. Slice them up as thin or thick as you like.

In the frozen pice crust, layer the tomatoes, basil, green onions, bacon, and spices in alternating layers.

For the topping, mix the mayo and cheese together and spread over the top.

Cover lightly with tin foil and bake for 30 minutes. Uncover and bake for another 30 minutes.

Serve hot or cold.

Pasta with Basil, Mozzarella, Garlic, and Tomatoes
Penne pasta
Basil, chopped
Garlic, chopped
Cherry tomatoes, cut into quarters
Fresh mozzarella, cut into small pieces
Olive oil

Cook the pasta in boiling salted water until done. Toss the hot pasta with the cheese, basil, garlic, tomatoes and basil. Drizzle with olive oil. Season with salt and pepper to taste.

If It Weren't My Life, It Would Be A Sitcom

Today I had to travel to Calgary, Canada for business. I cleared security in Fargo, got on my flight to Denver, and sat back and relaxed for the 2-hour flight. As soon as I turned my phone on on landing in Denver, my niece called. She said "don't you need a passport to go to Canada"? I said "yes, I have it".

"No, you don't", she replied. "United just called and said they found it in Fargo's airport."

Lots of expletives came to mind, but I was still sitting on board an airplane, so I politely thanked her for the information and hung up. When I got off the plane, United confirmed to me, that yes indeed you need a passport to go to Canada, and so rebooked me back to Fargo.

Another trip to United to ask - "could they put the passport on the next flight to Denver, and if so, can I still make it to Calgary tonight"?

Thanks to the good people of Fargo, and United Airlines, I got my passport and got on a later flight to Calgary. Upon arrival in Canada, I cleared customs and immigration and went to the phones to call my hotel shuttle.

"You don't have a reservation with us, and we're sold out", I was told by the Hampton Suites.

"But I do - I'll get the confirmation number and call you back".

So I called the travel agency, and nice man in India told me that yes, I do have a reservation for tonight at the Hampton Suites, and here is the confirmation number.

"Aha", I thought. "I'll show them", calling the Hampton Suites back.

"Aha", said the front desk agent. Your reservation is for the 21st of September, not 21st of August.

(More expletives inserted here).

"Here's the number for the Best Western. Good luck".

So I called the Best Western.

"You're in luck - we have rooms available at a very good rate!" Just give me your credit card number and we'll send the shuttle for you."

So after giving them my info, they sent me a limo desk for the shuttle. The girl behind the desk was maybe 17, not wearing a bra, and was obviously very proud of her endowments, which jiggled with every keystroke she typed. She didn't look at me, ask my name, or anything - just told me to go sit in the chairs and she'd call me.

So a driver came in looking for me. She claimed to know nothing about it. Then she remembered. When he asked where he was to take me, the girl behind the counter said "Airport something, I don't know". I know about this conversation because he related it to me on the way to the hotel. He still didn't know which hotel he was supposed to take me to, but I had told my coworkers to pick me up at the Best Western Port of Call. So he dropped me there...only to find out that I had made the booking at the other Best Western. I was done in, so I called the other Best Western and told them to cancel my reservation.

"But we're completely full, and we've been turning people away just to hold your room for you", they said.

"Bull****", I said, "I only booked it with you 15 minutes ago, and you had plenty of rooms then.

"We'll have to charge you for no-showing", they said. I told them how stupid their person was at the airport, and said I wasn't paying. She wouldn't let me off the damn phone! I finally hung up on her and checked in at the Port of Call.

"Ah, miss", the limo driver said.

"You can go - it's all settled now", I said.

"But the other hotel was going to give me a voucher, so you'll have to pay me for the ride".

Like I said, if it weren't my life, it would be a script for a sitcom.

A Day On the Sandbar

The sandbar is a jutting strip of sand and rock between Pelican and Fish Lake. Every summer weekend as long as I remember boaters beach themselves on the sand and kids, dogs, coolers, frisbees, footballs, and assorted inflatable devices come out. Everyone knows where it is, and cries of "see you on the sandbar" echo throughout the RV park Saturdays around noon.

The Fish Lake side is warm with a sandy bottom, so that's where most people swim. Jet skis are beached here too, and neighbors let neighbors ride them at will. Occasionally a boat will leave temporarily to take someone wake boarding or skiing, and we'll save their place on the sandbar.

Puppies and grown dogs often have their first water experience here. They'll fetch tennis balls for hours on end, and race each other to see who can get to the ball first. I've never seen a dog fight there - instead, there seems to almost be a communal spirit amongst them, big and small, old and young. When one dog gets to the ball first and swims it back in, I've seen them drop it in the shallow water so that the smaller dog can claim victory and bring it back to its owner.

After a couple of hours, the food comes out. Dips, spreads, crackers, cheese, chips, pasta salads, you name it. We often use the front of the pontoon as a buffet line, and our friends line up the dishes for all to sample. It's a good way to meet new people too - we've invited strangers to judge whose dip is better, for example.

Usually around 6 or so, we start the trek back to the public access, haul the boat out, and enjoy our supper. Last night I enjoyed t-bone steak and fresh veggies on the grill at a friend's house. I just wandered over and was invited to eat, so I did.

After supper the campfires are started. Sometimes I spend the whole night at one campfire, sometimes I wander around to see where the party is. I always have to do laundry Sunday or Monday though, because my clothes smell so strongly of wood smoke.

Life is good.

Where's Waldo?

This little guy has obviously mistaken my basil for a lily pad.

The Smells of Summer

Today is a rainy kind of day; the kind that makes me want to curl up with a good book, or take an afternoon nap.

As I sit here listening to the gentle rain on my rubber roof, I smell the lily that I cut from my garden yesterday and put into an old glass pickle jar.

And chives. I harvested a bunch of chives this morning, washed them, and chopped them up. I'm going to freeze them so I can experience summer all winter long. There's nothing better than scrambled eggs with fresh chives in the morning.

The fresh, cool air drifts through my camper. I think we've already hit our high for the day, and tomorrow is only going to be 74. It's a lovely break from the heat of summer.

Summer Palace

I don't usually like to post jokes, but this one really hit my funnybone. It's insulting, but as a frequent flyer, it expresses a lot. The attitude of some airline's cabin crew these days can be downright nasty. On the other hand, I flew Frontier Airlines on this trip, and you could tell that the crew really loved their jobs. They were friendly without being robots, relaxed, and concientious.

So here's the joke currently circulating at work. I used to work for American Airlines, and now I fly them frequently.

A guy is sitting in the bar in departures at a busy airport. A beautiful woman walks in and sits down at the table next to him. He decides because she's got a uniform on, she's probably an off-duty flight attendant. So, he decides to have a go at picking her up by identifying the airline she flies for, thereby impressing her greatly.

He leans across to her and says the Delta Airlines motto: 'We love to fly and it shows.'The woman looks at him blankly.

He sits back and thinks up another line. He leans forward again and delivers the Air France motto: 'Winning the hearts of the world.'

Again she just stares at him with a slightly puzzled look on her face. Undeterred, he tries again, this time saying the Malaysian Airlines motto: 'Going beyond expectations.'

The woman looks at him sternly and says "What the f_ck do you want?""Ah!" he says, sitting back with a smile on his face. "American Airlines!!!"

Summer In the City

My Winter Palace is in Fort Worth, Texas, and I've arrived to the hottest days of the year. Saturday hit 107 degrees, Sunday 105, and yesterday a cool 103. At 8:30 pm last night as I was driving home after dinner with friends, the car thermometer said it was 98. And as I write this at 6:00 am, it's 83 degrees. The cicadas are thrumming loudly, and the sun is only hinting of coming up.

Since my arrival, I've had to have my car jump started four times before I was told that my battery was dead. Saturday I drove around for more than an hour trying to find someone that would replace it. You see, in a PT Cruiser it's not so easy to replace a battery - you have to remove other parts first. And in the heat, nobody was willing to spend an hour on it. So I would go from garage to garage, leave the car running, have the mechanic come out and pop the hood to tell me if they would do the work before I shut my car off. I finally found a wonderful Firestone station that took care of me.

My critters here are healthy, and very happy to see me. It's a good thing my air conditioner works well, because I'm covered in cat most of the night. It'll be hard as always to leave them again on Thursday, but they're in good hands.

Right now at my Summer Palace it's a chilly 58 degrees, with a high of 81. Ah, paradise.

Taxi Cab Confessions

I'm visiting my Winter Palace for a week, and took a taxi home from the airport yesterday afternoon. The taxi driver took a personal phone call during the drive, and when he finished I politely asked him where he was from. I could tell that he was uncomfortable with the question, but finally said "the Middle East".

"Ah", I said. "I thought that was Arabic you were speaking. Where in the Middle East are you from?"

"Cairo, Egypt", the man replied. "I've been in America for one year".

Once he figured out that I wasn't trying to assertain if he was a terrorist, he started talking about himself. He came here mainly for his children, he said. Life for a Christian (Coptic) in Egypt is very difficult, and hard to keep a job. He was a chemist (pharmacist) there, and hadn't yet found the same type of job in the U.S., but he was grateful for being here all the same.

It reminded me of other taxi rides I've taken. Like the old man in Kingston, Jamaica that offered to marry me and bring me to live on his coffee farm in the Blue Mountains. Or the driver in Jordan who, when he heard I was from Texas, told me he was a Palestinian who only wanted peace, and could I tell George Bush that? I told him I would, next time I saw him.

People are very interesting if you take the time to ask who they are.

Laid Back Bunny

Just after I posted my "Glass Half Full" entry I walked outside to run an errand. There in front of me was a little bunny (the place is crawling with them this year) eating some corn I had put out. He startled a little bit, then lay down to munch on the corn and the grass. I've never seen a rabbit actually lay on his side (and I used to have one as a pet).

I couldn't believe he wasn't running, especially since I was talking to him the whole time. Could this be our newest entrant to the petting zoo?

He jumped off when I went back inside to get my camera, but stopped and looked back at me for this shot.

While I was out there, I took some pictures of my garden.

Is My Glass Half Empty or Half Full?

Work has been extremely stressful, and I'm snapping at Vice Presidents left and right (not recommended if you want to get ahead). On top of all of that, my house sitter has reported the following in the last week:

• My pond is losing water and the fish died
• My sprinkler system is leaking and flooding the side yard
• The air conditioner stopped working on the hottest day of the year (105 degrees)

So my pond lady will replace the fish and clean the pond. The fish were just cheap old goldfish, and they breed like crazy anyway.

The sprinkler guy came today and fixed the leak (for free I think), and my retired air conditioning guy came tonight after his regular job to fix the air conditioning. Instead of having to replace the compressor, he replaced a fuel capacitor (like I even know what that is). My good friend just had to replace her air conditioning to the tune of $10,000. My total bill? $172.00.

So at least for today, my glass is half full. I hope it doesn't have a leak in it too.

Perfect Weekend

What does a perfect weekend at the lake look like?

Friday night was spent around a campfire, meeting the neighbors and making S'mores. My niece Sarah came to visit, along with her 5-month old daughter and Sarah's friend. The sparklers left over from the 4th of July came out, much to the delight of the visiting kids.

We played on the 'Sandbar' all day Saturday. The Sandbar is a jutting piece of sand between Pelican and Fish Lake, where many boats beach themselves for the day. Lots of friends were there, and we all got a little bit sunburned. Everyone seems to bring their dog, and the dogs form a pack, roaming the sandbar, sniffing each other's butts, and retrieving play toys thrown into the water. The adult humans generally mill around, drink beer, have boat envy, and borrow the jet ski for a twirl. I don't have a jet ski, but one of my neighbors at the campground does, and he's very generous with it. His new one goes over 70 MPH.

An older guy came over to chat on the Sandbar, and one of my friends told him to try her homemade Pico de Gallo. Not to be outdone, I told him that my BLT dip was much better. We made him the judge between the Pico de Gallo, BLT Dip, and homemade Guacamole my sister-in-law made. He had to keep sampling because he couldn't make up his mind! His son is a chef, and he's going to give him our recipes. Dang it, his son will be here next weekend...and I won't. I'll be in Texas for a week.

Saturday night we had quite a spread - beef roast and pork loin cooked all day on the grill/smoker, cucumber salad, cabbage wrapped in side pork, cheesy potatoes, and rhubarb cake. Yum. And my niece Emily made her famous chocolate chip cookies for dessert.

Tired out from the sun, I went to bed about 9:30, and stayed there for 12 hours.

Sunday around noon I got a call that another niece and her three sons were here for the day. So we had leftovers for lunch, then went back out to the Sandbar for day two. My great-nephew Alex told me that I'm "his favorite Aunt", and when we were in the water, he told another little boy to "stay away from his princess". He's only 5, but you gotta admit, he's a bright boy. Except he hasn't quite learned "lake etiquette" yet. We all wade out into the water if we need to go to the bathroom. We taught him to do that too, but he still "takes it out", and announces to the whole world what he's doing. If we weren't laughing so hard we might be able to help him.

More leftovers for supper, and we tarped the boat, put it away, and said goodbye to another weekend. My nose and cheeks are red, I'm sleepy from the sun, and sad that I had to say goodbye to another summer weekend.

A Picture Says A Thousand Words

What Summer Looks Like

It's full-on summer, and nature is bursting out all over. The yellow lily pads on the lake are about to bloom, but the white ones are at their peak.

I have actual tomatoes on my plants, although they're still a long way from ripeness. That's in spite of a horrible wind storm and two hail storms. I gave up on the strawberries (the bunnies ate them all) and ripped them out of the ground. The daylilies should start blooming in a month or so, and the Easter Lily I planted a couple of years ago should scent up the garden nicely very soon.

Shots Have Been Fired

Just as I closed up my work computer for the evening I heard a loud bang. My first thought (I have a morbid imagination) was that my elderly neighbor just shot his wife. Then a second shot rang out; and a third.

"Leftover firecrackers", I thought.

After the next shot, I decided to investigate by looking out my windows. A few campers down, by the edge of the swamp, a teenage boy was shooting a gun. My heart was pumping now, and I called the campground office to report it.

The office said that a mama skunk and her almost-grown babies had been reported in the swamp, and they were trying to get rid of them by shooting them. Nobody had been sprayed, nobody had been hurt, and the skunks were keeping to themselved in the swamp. I've never smelled even a whiff of skunk scent.

Why can't we just leave well enough alone? Last year they were shooting the raccoons. The only time these critters cause damage is when we leave garbage out. Skunks eat mice and snakes and other pesty critters, and stick to themselves mostly.

I understand the fear of rabies - I really do. And I know that my view of nature is somewhat ideallic. But isn't there some sort of balance where we leave them alone as long as they leave us alone?

You Can't Always Believe What You Read

WAHPETON, N.D. – Witnesses say a man who robbed bank here had an empty soda pop case and not a 12-pack of beer.

Police had said the man came into the Gate City Bank with a gun and a pack of beer Wednesday afternoon.

Witnesses at the bank told police the man had a gun in an empty pop case, and also put the money he took from the bank into the pop case. Bank workers also say the man was captured on a video surveillance camera entering the bank. FBI Special Agent Paul McCabe said authorities are reviewing surveillance photos.

The FBI said the suspect may have fled in an older, white General Motors vehicle.

I liked the story better when it was a 12-pack of beer.

Hail No

Last night we had a monster of a hail event. My car is all dinged up, the result of quarter to silver dollar sized chunks of ice that rained down from the sky. If you've never spent a hail storm in a camper, you don't know what you're missing. At one point it was so loud I couldn't hear my niece on the phone (she was staying alone in her parent's camper just down the road).

Storm damage cleanup is already ongoing in the campground - I guess they're used to it. I wish I was.

Giant of the Woodpeckers

Pileated Woodpecker at my feeders today during a rainy, dreary day.

Petting Zoo

We know that the chipmunks here are tame. Especially over at my brother's place, where they have been spoiled rotten by all of the good chippie food like corn, sunflower seeds and the assorted bird seed that would get scattered on the ground.

Last night my sister-in-law went to the shed for birdfood - they'd been gone all week and the feeders were empty. Setting the food on the picnic table, she turned to say something to my brother. When she turned back, a chipmunk was on the table trying to eat its way into the bag of seed.

"Why, you cheeky monkey!" she declared.

Okay, she didn't really say cheeky monkey - this is Minnesota, after all.

As she and I got closer, the chipmunk didn't run away, didn't even act like he cared. He filled his cheeks with food and ran off behind the woodpile.

A few minutes later, with the feeders full, Mr. Chipmunk came back for more. While he was gorging on the spilled bird food, I decided to see how close I could get. 2 feet, 1 foot...I put my hand down thinking "ooh, maybe I can touch his tail before he runs away".

He didn't run away. He turned his head back like he was going to bite, saw it was my hand, and went back to eating. My hand moved closer. I touched his back! I rubbed behind his ears! I ran my hand down the entire length of his body. My sister-in-law did the same.

Next time he came out for more food, we dared my brother to pet him. Now my baby brother startles easily - he once jumped 5 feet and screamed like a girl when a chipmunk ran out of the shed towards him once. Last week a kildeer (a bird) chased him around the campground.

He reached his hand towards the chipmunk, jerked it back, moved it down again...success!

Now if we can get the muskrat, the snapping turtle, the ground squirrel, and the heron living in the swamp to cooperate, we can open our own petting zoo. Well, maybe not the snapping turtle. I'm not sure if my homeowners insurance would cover it.

Lutefisk

Being from North Dakota or Minnesota is like being from a foreign country. We talk differently, we act differently, and our food is way different. One popular dish in the Fall and Winter is Lutefisk, served with lefse (more on that later), boiled potatoes, and other whitish food. My Stepfather still goes to a lot of the church suppers when lutefisk is on the menu. So what is Lutefisk, you ask? Read on if you have a strong stomach!

From Wikipedia:

Lutefisk is made from air-dried whitefish (normally cod, but ling is also used), prepared with lye, in a sequence of particular treatments. The first treatment is to soak the stockfish in cold water for five to six days (with the water changed daily). The saturated stockfish is then soaked in an unchanged solution of cold water and lye for an additional two days. The fish will swell during this soaking, attaining an even larger size than in its original (undried) state, while its protein content decreases by more than 50 percent, producing its famous jelly-like consistency. When this treatment is finished, the fish (saturated with lye) has a pH value of 11–12, and is therefore caustic. To make the fish edible, a final treatment of yet another four to six days of soaking in cold water (also changed daily) is needed. Eventually, the lutefisk is ready to be cooked.

Cooking

Cooking pots at a church supper: with this method, the lutefisk was boiled for about five minutes, until translucent, then promptly served.

After the preparation, the lutefisk is saturated with water and must therefore be cooked carefully so that it does not fall into pieces.

Lutefisk does not need any additional water for the cooking; it is sufficient to place it in a pan, salt it, seal the lid tightly, and let it steam cook under a very low heat for 20–25 minutes. It is also possible to do this in an oven. There, the fish is put in an ovenproof dish, covered with aluminium foil, and baked at 225 °C (435 °F) for 40–50 minutes.

Another option is to parboil lutefisk. Wrap the lutefisk in cheesecloth and gently boil until tender. This usually takes a very short time, so care must be taken to watch the fish and remove it before it is ready to fall apart. Prepare a white sauce to serve over the lutefisk.

Lutefisk sold in North America may also be cooked in a microwave oven. The average cooking time is 8-10 minutes per whole fish (a package of two fish sides) at high power in a covered glass cooking dish, preferably made of heat resistant glass. The cooking time will vary, depending upon the power of the microwave oven.

When cooking and eating lutefisk, it is important to clean the lutefisk and its residue off of pans, plates, and utensils immediately. Lutefisk left overnight becomes nearly impossible to remove. Sterling silver should never be used in the cooking, serving or eating of lutefisk, which will permanently ruin silver. Stainless steel utensils are recommended instead.

That Kind of a Day

My work has been pretty stressful lately, and I've been snapping at people left and right.

A few minutes ago my neighbors knocked on my door and asked me to come outside - they wanted to show me something. There in the road was a big 'ole snapping turtle going as fast as he could for shelter. He made it under the camper next door and rested for awhile, where I took this shot. He better watch out, or I'll have turtle soup tonight!

Muskrat Lovin'

Just to keep the wildlife theme going, here is a picture of a muskrat that lives in the swamp behind my brother's cabin. We watched him surface, swim to the grassy area, chew several stalks of grass off at the base, and swim back with the sheaf of grass in him mouth. At a certain point in the water he'd dive with the grass.

What I've read is that muskrats have burrows with underwater entrances, so my guess is this muskrat is redecorating a little.

Baby Bird

I staggered out of bed as usual this morning, started the coffee brewing, and set up the computer in front of the window.

I noticed a gray lump in the grass and went out to investigate. It was a baby bird (maybe a black capped chickadee?) that wasn't quite ready to fly. I got closer, and it jumped up on my pants leg. So now I had to violate the rule of not touching a baby bird in fear that its mother would then reject it.

So I gently disengaged it's feet from my pink sweat pants, and moved it to my garden. I put some bird food next to it, and a little tin of water.

So far, it doesn't seem all that interested in either the food or the water. And I don't have much of a talent for finding worms and small insects for it to eat, so here's hoping little birdie makes it through the day!

Chip in the Grass

Just a hint that the grass needs mowing. This little fella thinks that I can't see him. But I can. And I hear his high-pitched squeek when he's around too.

I found wild rhubarb near the swamp. I wonder if it's any good to eat? There are wild raspberries there too, but the birds get 'em before I do every year.

At dusk I like to sit in my chair and look out at the swamp, hoping to see a herd of deer walk serenely past. But all I've seen so far is a raccoon running across the yard. Humph.

Officially Summer

For the first time this year I turned the air conditioning on. Only for 30 minutes, but it's a start.

Thirteen Lined Ground Squirrel

What is the size of a chipmunk, sits like a prairie dog, is mistakenly called a gopher in Minnesota and lives under my deck?

A Thirteen Lined Ground Squirrel.

When I saw him this afternoon I put some corn out for him, which he has been ignoring completely. Another gourmet meal gone to waste.

When Cows Fly

It’s not every day you see a cow fly by your window, but Elva Dittmer swears that’s what she saw near her barn Wednesday morning.

“I seen something white going into the air, and I’m sure it was a cow,” said the rural Valley City, N.D., woman. Dittmer was about 120 feet away when she saw the cow go about 10 feet in the air at 8:20 a.m.

“I don’t know if a cow would jump that high,” she said.

Dittmer said she could not tell whether the cow spun around or went straight into the air, but said its movement frightened her 30-some other cows.

“They ran away from it,” she said.

Dittmer said at first she didn’t believe she had seen a cow fly, and she knows it may be hard for others to fathom, but she’s standing by her story.

“I’m sure she went up in the air because I seen it,” she said.

Full article can be found here.

Tornado Target

When is a tornado not a tornado?

When there are "straight-line winds". There was not tornado watch or warning today, not even a severe thunderstorm warning. Only an innocuous "high wind advisory".

It started to get scary around noon. At 1:45 pm I decided enough was enough, and headed for the local tornado shelter, where a few others had already gathered. We watched shingles blowing off, furniture becoming airborne, and a camper that threatened to overturn completely.

Even when danger threatens, the folks here are still thoughtful. One lady brought cookie dough and made cookies in the oven while another brewed a fresh pot of coffee. As the storm started to subside, I was invited to stay and play cards for awhile. I politely declined, and started out in the rain and wind to see what damage had been done. Lots of sheds were damaged or destroyed, trees uprooted, and one mobile home completely destroyed. We were lucky. No one was hurt.

Cleanup starts tomorrow, with more rain in the forecast.

The Wave

When I first started coming to Minnesota in the summertime, I noticed my family waving at everyone we passed in the campground or on the lake.

"Who was that", I'd ask.

With a shrug of their shoulders, they'd say they didn't know.

"So why do you wave at them?"

When I was growing up in North Dakota, it was very common to wave at a passing car in town, even if the wave was one index finger held up off the steering wheel. I don't remember that being so common in Fargo, but once you hit the city limits of Casselton, the waves would begin.

Here's my theory. This area is filled with very polite, nice people. Way back when, the tradition of waving started just to be nice. Way back when everyone knew everyone else. Now, I think people wave just in case they might know that person. Don't want ugly gossip to spread that you're a non-waver, i.e., not friendly.

Another theory? It's a guaranteed way to tell who the tourists are by who waves and who doesn't.

My New Improved Working Conditions

My new Summer Palace arrived a week and a half ago, the day before I had to scoot back to Texas for a week. I'm finally unpacked and can start to enjoy the new digs. I moved all of the bird feeders to the backyard, and after family visited this weekend, and more family, and then family of family, I can sit down and watch the birds. Retirement doesn't sound too bad if this is what it's all about.


Already this morning I've had a Pileated Woodpecker and a Rose-breasted Grosbeak visit the feeders. I can smell the big bunch of lilacs I picked yesterday, and a cool breeze is coming through the open windows. It don't get any better than this.

My Texas Garden

Right around the 1st of April I planted my Texas garden after putting in a sprinkler system first. I spent too much money way too many years on plants that died when I couldn't keep them hand-watered in this heat, so I finally made the investment.

When I left for Minnesota three weeks ago, a couple of my cherry tomatoes were just turning red, and the roma tomato plant was only about 6 inches high. Today, the cherry tomato and the roma plants are about 3 feet tall, and my petsitter reports that several cherry tomatos have already been harvested. The basil will boltif I don't harvest it soon, and my red peppers are growing nicely. I think I'll harvest a bunch of the herbs and bring them into work tomorrow as gifts.

This morning I cut some blooming lilies for a fresh flower arrangement. Then I harvested some chives and a couple of cherry tomatoes for my breakfast. Two eggs scrambed with chives and quartered tomatoes made for a delicious (and healthy) breakfast. There was also a couple of ripe strawberries that didn't make it into the house because I ate them right from the plant. I can do that because my gardens are totally organic this year.

I also cut a bunch of catnip as a treat for my small furry feline friends. I rip ped up the fresh leaves and scattered them on the floor for hours of enjoyment. I suppose I ought to dry some up too for the winter.

My Home Town

I was raised in Casselton, North Dakota, which was, and is, a great town to grow up in. It still has no stop lights, and the Dairy Queen we hung out at is now Julie's Place. The Coast to Coast hardware store is gone, but now there's a Pizza Ranch.

So what is Casselton famous for? Some say because it is home to four of the past North Dakota Governors (Burke, Langer, Guy, Sinner). I've met two of them (Guy and Sinner), and grew up next door to Bud Sinner until he moved to the capitol.

Others say that Casselton is famous because it is home to North Dakota's only winery - Maple River Winery. I hear that the dandelions are being harvested as we speak for next year's vintage.

But I say that Casselton is famous for its can pile. You either think it's a piece of roadside attraction history, or a big pile of garbage that needs to be pulled down. It's being moved to a new location so that even more people can see it.

40 Degree Differences

When I left the lake this morning it was in the 50's and starting to look like a beautiful day. I stopped in at the convenience store and had a nice chat while picking up a package. Then I drove into Fargo to finalize the details for the purchase of my new Summer Palace.

Then I jetted off to Texas. I did the right thing and made a reservation for Super Shuttle in advance. I called them as soon as I got my bag, and they said they'd be there in 5-8 minutes. I wandered out to the orange signs to wait in the 91 degree heat. Yes, even at 8 pm it was 91 degrees.


35 minutes later I called Super Shuttle to ask what the hold up was, to be told that they were running out of vans and it would be awhile.

"I have half a mind to take a taxi home and send you the bill", I said to the rather rude person on the phone. "That's fine, I'll refund your credit card, and once you send in the receipt we'll pay the difference." Gee whiz, I was looking for a fight and she gave in after the first punch.

So I took a taxi home, thinking I'd jump in my PT Cruiser and go to the grocery store to stock up on things. I've been told that cars left in garages for 6 months rarely start, but did I believe them? No! So AAA finally made it out and started my car. I drove it for 15 minutes, then got my groceries. Lo and behold, the car won't start again. Luckily, the nice police officer patrolling the store and the night manager helped me out. I guess the battery is dead, so AAA gets to make another run out here in the morning. But at least now I have plenty of butter, eggs, beer, and mascara to to tide me over until my car works again.

It's now after midnight. While I'm blogging, my cat Sam is holding on to my leg for dear life, and Sydney has placed himself on top of my yet unpacked suitcase. All is well in the Winter Palace for now. Tomorrow I'll see what my Texas garden has produced in my absence, other than weeds.

The New Summer Palace

My new, fabulous camper arrived yesterday. I took a long hot shower this morning (that's new), and washed several loads of clothes last night (no lugging the laundry to the Community Center and saving up the quarters for the machines). I even have an icemaker for Pete's sake.

There is still much work to do, but I have to make a run to Texas to check in on my Winter Palace. Maybe when I get back all my stuff will magically be unpacked and put away.

In bird news, I've been seeing a lot of Yellow-headed Blackbirds lately. I never saw one before this year, and now I see them all the time. A big flock of Pelicans has arrived in one of the many little ponds near here. I thought they were swans before I got closer.

There are blossoms on my strawberries, and the lilacs are starting to pop. I can't wait until I get back to pick a big 'ole bunch of them.

Fire Bugs and Eskimo Kisses

I guess that the real reason I spend my summers in Minnesota is to be closer to family. I'm single, no kids (never wanted any), and the only one to live in Texas. The rest of my kin live in North Dakota and Minnesota.

My little brother has a camper here too, and his kids and grandkids visit some weekends. He's got 6 grandkids and 1 more on the way, so it can be pretty chaotic sometimes, in a good way.

Last night around the campfire my 5-year-old nephew talked about Fire Bugs. Fire Bugs were something I made up 2 summers ago to explain what the sparks were shooting from the fire pit. I was so pleased he remembered! Then I taught him and his cousin to give eskimo kisses while they were both sitting in my lap.

That's what life at the lake is all about. If I'm lucky, they'll tell their kids some day about their Great Aunt Sandy who taught them all about fire bugs and eskimo kisses.

My 30-second Commute

Regardless of what you may believe, working from home requires much more effort than commuting in to the office. And it affects my health too.

For example, I drink way too much coffee now, since I have time for it. I wake up at 5:30 in the morning because the sun is so bright up here. After I make that pot of coffee, there's nothing else to do but sit down and start to work. Since the sun doesn't go down until 9 pm, that makes for a long work day. And it's not like there's a whole lot of entertainment choices to pass time in the evenings. Those 240 channels I get on my satellite TV just don't seem to be enough.

There's no need to shower or wear pretty clothes. What's the problem with that? Vultures start to circle the camper after a few days, thinking that a new garbage dump just opened.

Yes, it's a sacrifice, but someone has to do it.

...as the Buffalo Roam...ahem...I Mean as the Bison Roam

I've gotten so used to seeing the Bison in the field next to my campground that I almost drove by them today, even though they were close to the fence. As soon as I parked the car and moved closer they got skittish and started moving away. "Buster", the bison looking at me, stood his ground but watched me closely.

The C-Store at the campground (that's Convenience Store for you non-Yankees) sells bison meat. Ewwww.

Remind me to tell you about the time in the Badlands when a bunch of us stupid teenagers went walking on the buttes after midnight. No streetlights, nothing to prevent us from falling off a mountain or into a river. My friend and I cautiously walked a ways until we heard a snuffle sound. We got within 2 feet of a bison before we realized what a stupid idea this was. Wait; I just told you about the time in the Badlands...never mind.

Unidentified Bird Identified

I've been relying on my trusty Birds of Minnesota Field Guide to help me identify the birds that come to my feeder, and it really bothered me that I couldn't figure out the oriole-like bird that likes oranges, but was rusty colored instead of orange.

I went online last night and found my bird. It is an Orchard Oriole! I used a great site that asks questions to help you narrow the search down. Use the Step By Step Search to find your bird.

http://www.whatbird.com/browse/objs/All/birds_na_147/38/Location/6513/Minnesota

Post From Last Summer

When I was a kid, there was nothing I loved better than braunschweiger and mayo on white bread. On a recent shopping trip, I saw the delectable pink slab o' liver for sale and scooped it up.

Tonite, after going for a walk to pick lilacs, and chewing the fat with our landlord Dave who was mowing the path to the lilacs when I showed up to pick them, I sat down and cut a slice of braunschweiger off the roll. I didn't have any bread, but I slathered that soft fleshy liverwurst patty with mayonnaise just for old-time sake.

The first bite brought back a flood of memories of sitting at the kitchen table enjoying my lunch with Dad, who also loved it. I was still enthusiastic the second bite - it tasted just like I remembered! I stared at the remainder, thinking about the ingredients. Pork livers, Pork fat, Bacon (do you see a pork theme here?), salt, and sugar are the top 5 ingredients in this favorite morsel from my past. It is 78% fat, and nutritionists recommend it for someone who needs to gain weight. It has suddenly lost its appeal.

Sometimes you can't go home again. On the bright side, it has 100% of your Vitamin A requirements in one slab, so I got one nutrient in today!

Birdies and Sunshine and Squirrels Oh My

I'm fascinated with the local wildlife here. Granted, in Texas I see raccoons, possums, lizards, bullfrogs, squirrels and birds all the time, but here in Minnesota there are different kinds.

I always know that I'm halfway to Minnesota when I see my first Redwinged blackbird (usually around Omaha). We don't have those in Texas, at least I don't see them.

By putting out some orange halves I've been able to attract some Baltimore Orioles as well as a rusty colored bird that doesn't look like an oriole, male or female. Within 20 minutes of putting out the hummingbird feeder today I saw my first hummer of the season. Yesterday I got a brief glimpse of an Indigo Bunting, a bright blue bird. A Blue Jay also came by for a bit. And of course whole flocks of Goldfinches are visiting my feeders.

This afternoon I saw an inquisitive head raise up above the deck boards - I had to look it up, but I'm sure it was a Thirteen Lined Ground Squirrel. It raises up on its haunches just like a prairie dog, and has an amazing striped tail. He's been hanging around all day.

May 11, 2008

I put off my trip north by a week because the lake got 18 inches of snow just before I was set to leave. I've been a southern girl for far too long to want to endure that.

It snowed all afternoon yesterday, but nothing stuck. Today was nice, with a high of 60 and sunny for Mother's Day.

The geese have arrived at the slough en masse and are happily honking their pleasure at being home for the summer. The slough is in front of my camper, as opposed to the swamp, which is behind my camper. The slough looks like a river now, until the reeds grow back up so high we won't even know there's water back there. The swamp always looks like a swamp.

I raked the leaves from my garden and happily discovered that the day lilies and strawberries are already greening up. When I left Texas, I had cherry tomatoes that were almost ready for harvest. What a difference in growing seasons!

I met the latest members of my family this weekend. William (Buck) is 18 months already, Oliver (Ollie), 3 months old, and Madison (Maddie), 7 weeks old. I don't do babies. Once you hold them it's a slippery slope to changing diapers, and cleaning bodily fluids off of your favorite pair of blue jeans.

I've decided that my great-nephew Andy is my newest favorite, because he knows where Malta is (learned it on the Veggie Tales), and was very excited that I've been to Egypt and seen the pyramids and rode a camel. He's only 4, but I think I'll have a new traveling companion in a few years. My next favorite is Alex, because he ran right for me when I got here and hugged me really hard - twice. He's 4 too. His cousin Elsye hugged me hard too, but only because Alex did. I have 10 great-nieces and nephews, and at least one more on the way. I'm way too young for this.