John McCain died this weekend, and politicians from both the left and right are lauding him for his humor, his service to his country, and his character. It made me wonder why this man was so universally admired, which led me to try and define character.
First, what it is not. It is not what religion you belong to, nor is the preaching you do on social media on the greatness of God. That's worship, not a sign of your good character. It's not "thoughts and prayers" when something bad happens.
It is not how wealthy you are, how beautiful you are, how smart you are, or the position you hold. We may admire you for those things, but it doesn't mean you have a good moral character.
So what is it then? Well, here's my definition. It's someone that puts the good of another over their own personal desires, and then acts. When something bad happens, fighting to change what caused it to begin with. Someone who walks a scared young woman down the sidewalk through the protesters to the abortion clinic, even when they personally don't agree with abortion. Someone who volunteers to work over the holidays to allow their coworker the chance to be with their family. Someone who, when bullets are flying, goes back to help a stranger.
A good moral character is not built on one deed alone. It must be stable, in other words, a lifetime. That doesn't mean that the person of good moral character always did the right thing - far from it. But it does mean that they admit when they did wrong, and attempt to make it right. They always try to do the right thing, keeping everyone's interests in mind.
I didn't always agree with John McCain's political views, but I very much admired his good moral character. He always tried to do what was right, even when it was personally painful for him. After his captors in Vietnam learned that his father was an admiral, John McCain was offered an early release. He had broken both arms and a leg, and his captors were refusing treatment until he confessed to an imaginary crime. Can you imagine the pain he was in? Yet, he refused the early release because he was taught that the ones there the longest go home first. Because of that decision, he spent another FIVE years being tortured daily. For the rest of his life, he couldn't comb his own hair because he couldn't raise his arms above his head.
A good moral character is not petulant. A good moral character doesn't brag. A good moral character doesn't bully. When I vote to put someone in office, whether it's a board of directors, or the President of the United States, I look for good moral character, or at a minimum, someone who has spent a lifetime in service to others. I'm not looking for a quick fix for me alone, or my class, or gender, or race. I'm looking for someone that will actively try to make life better for everyone, even if it means that it's a little worse for them.
I desperately hope that John McCain is not the last of his kind to put country over party, to put duty over self. Perhaps his death will lead to more working together regardless of party or belief system, to make this country better. But my fear is that this change, however hopeful, will be temporary. And remember, good moral character is stable.
