This time felt different from the very start. It started the same way...more pictures, followed by an ultrasound, then a biopsy, this time of the left breast. All completely painless, but the look on the radiologist's face told me volumes. So I was prepared when he called two days later with the biopsy pathology report.
"It's unfortunately cancer", he said. "The most common type - Invasive Ductal Carcinoma, and it's small - about 4.5 mm. You'll need to meet with a surgeon and oncologist to talk about options, but they will likely tell you either a lumpectomy with radiation, or a total mastectomy without further treatment".
Did I tell you that the phone call came when I was at work, and that I have to smile and actually talk to people? I'm not sure I remember the next few patients I registered - I felt like I was having tunnel vision, and in a vast echo chamber where I could hear, but it all sounded so far away. Once it slowed down a bit, the nurse and provider surrounded me with hugs and advice...should I have reconstructive surgery? Who is the best plastic surgeon in the area? And look at the great tattoos I can get to cover any scarring!
The good news is that surgery can be done here in my small town hospital. The bad news is that if I choose a lumpectomy, the radiation treatment is an hour away. And treatment is 5 days a week, up to 16 weeks. The prognosis is good, and about the same with either option I choose. If insurance covers it, I'm leaning toward total mastectomy...of both breasts. I've never been a girly girl, and am not defined by my extra female bits. I wonder if it means that I can go shirtless in the summertime? When I first started developing, I was so mad at my Mom for making me put a shirt on around the boys. Didn't seem fair to me, when they got to run through sprinklers bare chested.
So many questions to answer. I feel like I'm back in school again, learning a new subject that I better know backwards and forwards 'cuz there will be a final exam. Have no doubt - I will ace the exam.
