I'm quite active on a series of online forums that deal with weight loss, more specifically with weight loss surgery. Right now, there are 4 common surgeries - RNY (gastric bypass), VSG (Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy, which I had last May), DS (Duodenal Switch), and Lap Band (which I had 8 years ago).
There's also a general forum encompassing weight loss surgery in general, and a "secret" Rants and Raves board for off topic subjects. I say secret because the terms of service for this site forbid you from mentioning its name.
Why keep it a secret?
The Rants and Raves board has a loyal following of regulars. It's where you can swear, talk about anything, and blow off steam. Unfortunately, it's also the place where the same group of people go to make fun of other posters on the other boards. Lately, it's gotten really evil in my opinion.
There's a lady on the VSG board who just had surgery. From the time she joined the forum, she would post probably 10 to 20 topics a day, some serious questions, others "fun" topics. She was lonely, and wanted conversation. Annoying? Yes, but you can ignore the posts that annoy you.
She became quite the topic of conversation on Rants and Raves, with people calling her the "C" word, and others piling on. They didn't like the fact that she was Christian, they didn't like her screen name, they didn't like her avatar. Many of these regulars hadn't had VSG surgery, but they would surf the VSG board just for ammunition. And felt totally free to bash posters asking a question that they felt was stupid.
Someone told one of the more regularly bashed posters about Rants and Raves, so she went there to defend herself. The fighting escalated to the point where one person told her that if she didn't like what was being said, she should just kill herself.
Now, this poster had just had VSG surgery and her gall bladder removed at the same time. There were complications with her gall bladder removal, and she had just been discharged from the hospital after a 2-week stay, where things were touch and go. Yes, the Rants and Raves regulars made fun of that too, saying that it was karma that caused her complications.
Another R&R regular posted a pic of a child's gravesite, where her brother was playing. A real gravesite, and she thought that it was a funny topic.
And if ANYONE disagrees with one of the regulars, they accuse you of hormone dumping, as in "poor so-and-so, we should excuse their behavior; they're going through hormone dumping".
So the owners of the website are pulling the R&R board down effective Monday. The regulars are very upset, saying that it's the only board that tells it like it is, and it's full of vets who only want to help. And of course they're screaming free speech.
What do you think? Does this fall under the free speech rights, or have they gone too far? Do you have a right to make fun of emotionally fragile people because they're lonely, or asking a question that has been asked a million times before? Do you have a right to tell someone to kill themselves because you don't agree with them?
I agree with the decision to pull down the board, by the way. It won't stop these nasty people from replying to posts on the surgery boards, but at least now the worst of it won't be on public display.
I fully support your right to say anything you want, as long as it doesn't make someone feel threatened or fearful. And apologies are great, but if you did the deed, you still need to pay the price.
