Bully? Or Just Free Speech?

I'm quite active on a series of online forums that deal with weight loss, more specifically with weight loss surgery.  Right now, there are 4 common surgeries - RNY (gastric bypass), VSG (Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy, which I had last May), DS (Duodenal Switch), and Lap Band (which I had 8 years ago).

There's also a general forum encompassing weight loss surgery in general, and a "secret" Rants and Raves board for off topic subjects.  I say secret because the terms of service for this site forbid you from mentioning its name.

Why keep it a secret?

The Rants and Raves board has a loyal following of regulars.  It's where you can swear, talk about anything, and blow off steam.  Unfortunately, it's also the place where the same group of people go to make fun of other posters on the other boards.  Lately, it's gotten really evil in my opinion.

There's a lady on the VSG board who just had surgery.  From the time she joined the forum, she would post probably 10 to 20 topics a day, some serious questions, others "fun" topics.  She was lonely, and wanted conversation.  Annoying?  Yes, but you can ignore the posts that annoy you.

She became quite the topic of conversation on Rants and Raves, with people calling her the "C" word, and others piling on.  They didn't like the fact that she was Christian, they didn't like her screen name, they didn't like her avatar.  Many of these regulars hadn't had VSG surgery, but they would surf the VSG board just for ammunition.  And felt totally free to bash posters asking a question that they felt was stupid.

Someone told one of the more regularly bashed posters about Rants and Raves, so she went there to defend herself.  The fighting escalated to the point where one person told her that if she didn't like what was being said, she should just kill herself.

 Now, this poster had just had VSG surgery and her gall bladder removed at the same time.  There were complications with her gall bladder removal, and she had just been discharged from the hospital after a 2-week stay, where things were touch and go.  Yes, the Rants and Raves regulars made fun of that too, saying that it was karma that caused her complications.

Another R&R regular posted a pic of a child's gravesite, where her brother was playing.  A real gravesite, and she thought that it was a funny topic.

And if ANYONE disagrees with one of the regulars, they accuse you of hormone dumping, as in "poor so-and-so, we should excuse their behavior; they're going through hormone dumping".

So the owners of the website are pulling the R&R board down effective Monday.  The regulars are very upset, saying that it's the only board that tells it like it is, and it's full of vets who only want to help.  And of course they're screaming free speech.

What do you think?  Does this fall under the free speech rights, or have they gone too far?  Do you have a right to make fun of emotionally fragile people because they're lonely, or asking a question that has been asked a million times before?  Do you have a right to tell someone to kill themselves because you don't agree with them?

I agree with the decision to pull down the board, by the way.  It won't stop these nasty people from replying to posts on the surgery boards, but at least now the worst of it won't be on public display.

I fully support your right to say anything you want, as long as it doesn't make someone feel threatened or fearful.  And apologies are great, but if you did the deed, you still need to pay the price.

Fun Times

There are signs in the air that my winter hibernation is nearing an end.  We're having more days of 70 degree weather, the first day of Spring has arrived, and Daylight Savings Time has begun (or ended?  I never can remember).  I'm hoping that I can get "home" to Minnesota by Easter this year, which falls on April 20th.  10 days hauling water wouldn't be so bad, right???

Also, social events seem to be popping up all over.  Tonight we're having a reunion of the folks I started my Sabre career with.  Some have retired, some have moved away, found other jobs, but it will be good to spend time with people that taught me a lot of what I know today.

And tomorrow night I'm going to a dinner party - a colleague is in town from Malta, and one of my coworkers is hosting the event.  This is the same guy that served crab legs at the last party I went to, so it's bound to be good!

Monday night I'm going to the Dallas Stars Hockey game with a customer - happy hour prior, and we're in a suite with food and beverages galore, so that'll be fun even though I don't follow hockey.

Next Saturday is the Women Rock 5K race.  I haven't trained, so I'll walk most of it.  I also volunteered to work at the Athlete's Village afterwards.

I'm obsessed with the search for MH370.  Even though there is no new updates for days at a time, I'm learning all sorts of things about satellites, radar, sonar, and how a 777 airplane operates.  My personal view is that there was a fire onboard, all passengers and crew died, and the plane flew on auto pilot until it ran out of fuel.

Crazy Texas Weather

Those of us that live in Texas know that the weather can change on a dime.  Last Saturday it was over 80 degrees for the 2nd day in a row.  I went to the park and walked for almost 6 miles (and still didn't work off that darn bacon cheeseburger I ate in celebration of National Pig Day).  It was a warm, muggy day, and Friday night I tossed and turned with my windows open because, damn it, I was hot!  But I didn't turn on the air conditioning, because, well, it's March.

And Sunday?  23 degrees, going down to 17 as the sun set.  My water pipes froze up for the 3rd time this winter, even though I left them dripping.  Frozen sleet tapped at my windows most of the afternoon, and school was cancelled most places on Monday.

How do Texans react?  Well, when I did some grocery shopping on Saturday, the eggs were sold out, and although I didn't look, I almost guarantee that the milk and bread was too.  Apparently Texans get a hankering for eggs and toast with their milk only during cold spells.

And in other news, this morning my scale said that I was .2 pounds from being a "normal" weight.  Since I haven't been normal since I was a child, that was pretty exciting to me.  Another 11 pounds and I'll be "ideal".  So there.  Those size 6 pants I bought last weekend will fit even better now (yes, that is a gratuitous mention of my clothing size for no other reason than I've never been able to say it before, unless you count 6T, but I don't think I cared back then, being I was six).

I am more than ready for summer to begin - I look forward to the first day I say "it's too hot", without it being a hot flash!

Early One Saturday Morning

I just could not sleep last night, so at 4:21 a.m. I finally gave up and had my first cup of coffee (wild blueberry flavored if you must know).  I fed Gracie the cat, indulged her in her morning adoration, and had my second cup of coffee.  

Like food, adoration is essential to a cat, at least it is for Grace.  She will climb into my lap and raise her butt high in the air until I stop doing whatever it is I'm doing and pay attention to her - undivided attention, for at least 3-5 minutes.  She likes me to focus on her back and hind quarters more than anything else, and vigorous rubbing is welcomed.  She lets me know when I'm done by laying down, still in my lap, contented and ready for a snooze.

Sam, her son, who died last summer, would do the same, except he liked me to focus on his head, nose, and chin area.  Sometimes they'd both be in my lap at the same time competing for attention.

Since yesterday was Valentine's Day, I wanted to treat myself this weekend.  Although I badly wanted the 85% cacao dark chocolate at Whole Foods, I stuck with high protein/low carb and bought the ingredients for a lovely frittata.

First, I diced about 4 oz. pancetta and cooked it on the stovetop until it was crispy.  Removing that, I added 4 diced shallots to the pan and cooked them until they were nice and soft.  Finally, I added a bunch of baby arugula (the recipe calls for spinach, but I like the bite or arugula better) and cooked it just until it was nice and wilted.

In another bowl, I whisked up 8 eggs, about 1/4 cup of freshly grated Parmesano Reggiano (my indulgence at Whole Foods yesterday), and just a grating of fresh nutmeg.  To that I added the arugula, shallots, and pancetta, and put the mix back in the fry pan I started with.  I let that cook over medium-low heat until the bottom was set, then added about 4 oz. goat cheese to the top.  Final step was putting under the broiler for a couple of minutes just to set the top.

It's 6:44 in the morning, and I'm just waiting for the frittata to cool so I can have a slice with my 3rd cup of coffee.  There is a hint of light in the sky, and I hear a bird greeting the morning.  It's supposed to be in the high 60's today, 75 tomorrow, and 80 by Thursday, so perhaps I'll go to the park today and enjoy the promise of Spring.

Walking Through The Valley of the Shadow of Death

No, I haven't suddenly become born again.  I'm talking about Super Walmart.  I woke up early this morning and wanted to get groceries before the weather turns to sleet and ice, and Walmart was open this early.

Winter months suck for me.  My carb cravings go through the roof, and until a couple of weeks ago, I was eating a peanut butter cup every day as a "treat".  And popcorn would make up one of my meals at least 3 times a week.  The scale showed it, too, refusing to budge.  So when I ran out of both two weeks ago, I resolved not to buy more.  I had to white knuckle it a few days, let me tell you!

But after that, I felt more in control again.  I became more diligent at logging my food, because I wasn't ashamed of what I ate.  And the scale cooperated - I'm down 6 more pounds in the last two weeks.

Back to Walmart.  At 7:30 in the morning there weren't a lot of people there.  But today is Super Bowl Sunday, so guess what was on display everywhere?  Chips, dips, candy, popcorn, Velveeta cheese (yuck) and all sorts of desserts.

My weight loss pattern is to lose a couple of pounds, and then sabotage myself by buying crap.  I know that, I've always known that, but the devil on my shoulder almost always won out.  Today the Angel won.  I got the stuff I need for chili, stir fry chicken and broccoli, baked ham and eggs, and other yummy dishes that fit into my plan.  I got over my dislike of leftovers, so I usually make two dishes (serving 4) a week and alternate between those for lunches and dinners.

I made it out of Walmart, patting myself on the back for my supreme courage, started the car, and you know what thought popped into my head?  Ummm, McDonald's breakfast burrito.  Gah!  Goes to show you that the war is never over - that devil on your shoulder is always going to try and convince you that it'll just be this once, it's not so bad, it's a treat...but the devil can go back to where he came from today, because I'm home, and baked ham and eggs are on the menu for breakfast, and chili is in the crockpot for later.

Baked Ham and Eggs
Serving size is as many as you want to make

1 egg
1 slice of deli smoked ham
Salt and pepper
Paprika (optional)
Chives (optional)

Preheat oven to 375
In a muffin tin, put one slice of ham in the cup.  Crack one egg into the ham "cup" and season with salt, pepper, paprika, and chives.  Bake for 15-20 minutes.  Let cool for 2 or 3 minutes and carefully remove.

Resolution(s)

From Wikipedia:

Cheating refers to an immoral way of achieving a goal. It is generally used for the breaking of rules to gain unfair advantage in a competitive situation. Cheating is the getting of reward for ability by dishonest means.

January 1st - the first day of the year (at least on western calendars).  The time for resolutions.  I haven't made a New Years Resolution in many years, but I know that fitness centers are hopping this time of year, so diets must be high on the list!

So when people say that they are cheating on their diet, what does that mean?  If you read the Wikipedia description, it must mean that they are only eating carrots and celery, since by definition they're getting to the goal by dishonest means.  And the goal is losing weight, right?  Or maybe they're taking water pills and laxatives.  Or photo shopping their profile pics?

Based on what I'm seeing on Pinterest, not a lot of my friends made a diet resolution this year.  I see pins for caramel pretzel bars, and death by chocolate cake, and, oh my...I can't go on for fear of the food porn police coming to get me.  

On a totally unrelated subject, my alma mater, North Dakota State University, won the NCAA FCS football championship for the 3rd year in a row!  Here we are with #4 Ryan Smith, who had to stand on tippy toes for the shot (I didn't, but that doesn't mean I'm vertically challenged).

And here I am with Thundar, the Bison Mascot the night before the big game at the Pep Fest.  It was so cold, and at that point I was shivering and barely able to hold on to my wine!

The highlights of the game weekend were my Niece's family visiting, meeting my nephew-in-law's Mom and Pop, the homemade dilly beans and chokecherry jelly my Niece brought me, and well, just being with family.  I've been dreaming about my move back north for a long time - sometimes it seems impossible, and sometimes, just sometimes, I can see it.  

In order to sell my house, I need to come up with the money to install baseboards, repair some siding, and replace some fence.  I don't know now where that money will come from, but if I hold on to my dream it'll come.

What is my dream now?  When I was younger, my dream was to travel the world and have adventures.  I DID THAT!  Dream realized 100 times over!

Now?  I want to be close to family.  Close enough to have game watching parties at my house.  With a garden out back.  Ideally, chickens out back, but that probably isn't going to happen.  I want my geriatric cat Gracie to go with me, but she's 16 and has kidney and liver disease, so when she goes, I want 2 kittens - not to take her place, but to start anew.  I want to laugh, and cry, and live near those I love.  I want to sweat because I'm working out.  I want to be in the best shape of my life.  I want to run a 5K - not walk/run, but run the whole way.  I want to learn how to recognize mushrooms in the wild, pick them, and create magnificent food.  

The last couple of days I've done a count down in my head.  I'm 53, so how many years does that give me?  By no means do I feel like I've wasted my life, but the warning bell is sounding in my head to do what I want now.  There's no guarantee of more, ever.  My family has been incredibly blessed with  rare fatal illness.  My folks both smoked and died from it (heart attack and lung cancer), but incredibly, we're okay.  My big brother has had heart issues (bypass) but it now in the best shape of his life.  My sister-in-law and step-father have both had skin cancer scares.  Type 2 diabetes has been cured by weight loss for my younger brother and me.   

Long, rambling post tonight.  But it's full of my wants, needs, and dreams.  May they all come true - sooner than later!

Why Painting Is Like Life

I'm on vacation this week, and trying to fix up my house so that I can eventually sell it and move back to my beloved Minnesota.  My downstairs bedroom is badly in need of a face lift, so I ordered new curtains, new bedding, and decided to paint the walls a lovely light blue (it's a dingy green now).  A study I read online (which of course must make it true) says that people sleep longer in a blue room.  

What I know about my myself is that I like to skip right to the end of a project.  I want it done, like now!  So my character flaw is that I like to take shortcuts to get what I want as fast as possible.  The last time I painted this room I painted over some stains on the wall, and they bled right through, making the bedroom walls look dirty and dingy.  So this time I bought a good primer designed to cover stains as a first step.  I had all my tools, knew what to do, and on Monday opened the primer can only to find a sticky, muddy, mess at the bottom.  Thinking I'd forgotten to have the paint store shake the primer, I went back to the store, where they gladly shook it for me.  Got home and found the same sticky mess.  I was SO tempted to skip the primer and go straight to the paint, but instead, I got back in my car and drove it back to the store.  The very helpful young man behind the counter offered to shake it again.  I suggested that he do so, but this time open the can afterwards and stir with a paint stick.  Yep - same problem.  So I was offered a replacement, but every can he opened was defective, so I switched to a new product, had him try it out, and went home.  By that point I had only accomplished taping, removing curtains and pictures, but oh well, I had a week to get it done.

Tuesday morning I arose with every intention of priming, then painting that bedroom.  Until my temporary tooth crown came off (again) and I had to spend the morning at the dentist's office.  They've informed me that the cement they used this time is so strong it will have to be drilled off.  How fun - I get to have a crown drilled off in a week so that my permanent crown can be placed.  

So Tuesday afternoon saw 3/4 of the room primed and painted, and Wednesday believe it or not, I finished. My pretty new white sheer curtains went up, my new white coverlet went on, and a new floral quilt went on the end of the bed.  I'm still not done - for some reason in their infinite wisdom the builders of this house in 1961 decided to mount the fuse box on the bedroom wall.  In my nearly 18 years of living here I've never figured out how to hide it.  I could paint it I guess, but the big black "Main" switch still sticks out.  So I ordered more curtains from Penney's during their Black Friday sale - I'm going to try a wall of curtains on that wall, and if it doesn't look right, I have another window in my living room that still needs window coverings.

What does this have to do with life?  Well, I was very frustrated this week.  I wanted to get to the end quickly, so that I would have a beautiful result to look at.  I wanted to revel in my success.  When life threw me some curve balls, I had to deal with them and move on.  And I found that I couldn't skip steps - I needed to do it right, even if it meant that it would take longer than I initially thought it would.  

There are lots of people willing to help, (Home Depot) but sometimes the help they give isn't what you need, even if you didn't know it at the time.  Once you do figure out what you need, you have to ask for it.  And you still have to work damn hard to get the results you want.

In the end, if you follow the rules, have the right tools, don't skip steps, and deal with the obstacles life throws at you, you will have something to be proud of.  Something new and shiny and fabulous.  And if you take care of it, it'll be just as gorgeous for a long time to come.  And in the end, we're all still works in progress; just like my bedroom.