We all have notions about what is real. And our perceptions of reality and potential outcomes to our actions make us behave in a certain way. Especially if we fear the outcome.
I used to live my life in fear when I was younger. I feared social situations because I was overweight and thought someone would make fun of me. I feared getting my oil changed because I thought that the mechanic would tell me that my oil was really dirty and I was a horrible car owner.
Seriously.
Instead of overcoming the fear, I changed my perception of reality. I wasn't a bad person just because I didn't my oil changed regularly. People liked me when I was fat the same as they did when I lost weight.
I took my niece to Chicago for her cousin's wedding over Labor Day weekend. It was her first plane ride, first trip to Chicago, and a lot of other "firsts". At the wedding dance, her girl cousins and I tried to get her to come on the dance floor with us. We had already worked up a sweat bopping the night away, most of the time without a dance partner. My niece said no, she didn't want to dance. As her cousins became more insistent, I saw that familiar fear in her eyes. I felt it before. I knew what was going through her mind.
"People will see me. I can't dance. I'll look stupid. Oh my God how am I going to get out of this?"
I took her hands and led her onto the floor, promising her that nobody was watching. After a few minutes, the fear in her eyes was replaced by wonder. Nobody WAS watching! Then the wonder was joined with pure joy. Letting go and dancing is an expression of great joy when nobody is watching. My niece changed her reality, which dissipated the fear.
Dance like no one is watching.
Love like you'll never be hurt.
Sing like no one is listening.
Live like it's heaven on earth.
-William Purkey
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