How a Tree Ruined My Diet

If you remember my post from earlier in the year, there are very good reasons why you should eat your vegetables. because when you don't, they go bad in the fridge, and when you throw them all into the disposal at the same time, they have a tendency to clog up the sink.

So what does that have to do with ruining my diet, you may ask?

When the plumber unclogged my sink in January (in actuality, he unclogged the sewer pipe somewhere between my house and the street), he found tree roots. Uh oh.

So Monday, when my toilet clogged, I called the same plumbing company, who sent out a kid still wet behind the ears. He gave me an estimate of $800 to unclog said toilet. I laughed so hard at him he scurried himself to the curb and drove away without looking back.

I'm starting a kitchen remodel project, and there will be plumbing involved, so I called in a favor from my contractor. What's the name of the plumber? I called him, and, in my best southern voice, told him that his work on my remodel depended on whether or not he could give me a good deal on my toilet unclogging. You see, I can't afford $800 when I'm about to lay 20 grand down for the kitchen!

The plumber graciously came over on his lunch hour, removed the toilet, and found...wait for it...more tree roots. You see, my house was built in 1961, and back then sewer pipes were made of porous clay, and trees just can't help burrowing in search of good (albeit stinky) water supplies.

I paid the plumber $200.00 and felt very smug because I didn't have to pay $800.00. I felt very smug that is, until Tuesday, when the toilet clogged again. It cleared on its own, and I felt out of the woods. Until this morning, when it did it again. Not to get gross, and I know several men that are proud of clogging toilets with their prodigious dumps, but this was just a liquid affair, with minimal toilet paper involved.

So I called the plumber. Again. He couldn't make it out here until this evening, and since I'm working from home, I had to find other means of relieving myself. So I drove to the McDonalds just down the street. Nice, new bathrooms, with natural stone floors, and an interesting tile pattern on the walls. Very soothing.

But being who I was raised to be, I couldn't use the facilities without buying something. What would my mother say? So after admiring the Kohler faucets in the bathroom I headed to the counter and ordered a breakfast biscuit, complete with sausage, egg, and cheese.

Now you know how a tree ruined my diet.