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Friday, September 12, 2014

Why Am I So Afraid to Follow My Dream?

I have the opportunity to make my dream come true, and it's causing me no end of anxiety.

My dream?  To live in Minnesota full-time, in a house in the country, with big gardens and maybe even a chicken coop out back.

There's a sweet piece of land for sale in a subdivision outside of town I've long loved.  It's 2 acres, half wooded, with no special covenants or assessments.  It has tarred roads, and I've been told that they're kept plowed in the winter.  The builder I like looked at the land with me, and says that it's a good spot for building, albeit it after they move some dirt around to build up the low spots.

I have really, really, good credit, and started the pre-approval process a couple of months ago just to see what the banks said I could afford.  It was WAY more than I thought, and WAY more than I want to spend at any rate.  But it really expanded my view on what I could have, and with the interest rates being so low, my payment wouldn't be any more than what I'm paying for my old house in Texas (note: it's a 15-year mortgage, plus I pay $500 extra a month on the principle.  It will be paid off in March 2016).

So why the fear?  I'm scared of getting in over my head.  Those 2 acres will need to be mowed (well, part of it anyway), and snow removed.  I've never operated a snow blower in my life, though I guess I could learn.  Building a new home seems so daunting to me, and I'm just positive that there's a key piece that I'll need that isn't covered in the cost.  My builder has already told me about the driveway, septic system, water well, and bringing fill dirt/excavation.  Appliances are also extra - that pro range I want might not be possible.

What if my house in Texas doesn't sell?  Where do I get the money for the down-payment for the land?  Should I just take out a 401k loan and buy the land with cash?

Am I too old to start over in a new place?  Am I fooling myself that I can handle it on my own?

But then I go back to the dream.  Entertaining family after their day on Detroit Mountain skiing (it's only about a mile away) in front of a fire.  Watching the deer right outside the window.  Having the room (and storage) to can/freeze/dry all of the fresh produce I can grow in my many raised beds on the property.  Working in my 4-season porch with expansive views on 2 sides.  Hiking in the woods and on the many trails nearby.  Watching the leaves turn.  The first snow of the season dusting the ground.

Even better, not having to pack up and move twice a year across country (yeah, I'm really dreading that trip in a couple of weeks).




1 comment:

Kristi R. said...

You need to decide if your dream is bigger than your fears. Are you ready for the snow again after many years south? It sounds like fiscally you have explored all options.
Good luck!!