I found a contractor I liked, and am going forth with a major kitchen remodel. Even though his team won't start the real work for two weeks, I've cleared out most of the cabinets and moved everything into the living room. Why so soon? Well, none of my appliances work, (except my microwave), so I can't cook much except for frozen meals or things made in a crockpot. And I figured it was a good time to go through everything and give unused items to charity anyway.
Once you get started, it's hard to stop. Today I went through my bedroom closet and filled 7 trash bags full of clothes, sheets, shoes, and purses. I hope The Paralyzed Vets like my sense of style, because it's all being donated to them. A couple of nice surprises while I was in there - I found my black iPod which I feared was lost a year ago, my old passport full of immigration stamps, and a silk billfold I bought somewhere in Asia a few years ago.
Tomorrow I think I'll tackle the bathroom. I think there might be a set of steam curlers way in the back somewhere that I KNOW the Paralyzed Vets will enjoy!
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Enthusiastic Love
A tug on my hair in the middle of the night. I yell "go away!" and turn over to try to sleep again, even though I'm in the middle of a hot flash, and my chest is dripping sweat. I know that in a few minutes I'll be freezing cold and need the blankets again, so I won't sleep until then.
A few hours later, as I waver between the worlds of dreaming and wakefulness, I feel a tap on my cheek. I ignore it, hoping it will go away. Another tap, this time more insistent on my eyebrow.
"Maybe if I turn over he'll go away", I think. So I do, and slowly slip back into that sweet unconscious state known as sleep. Until I feel a wet cold nose on my chin, and know that a tongue is about to come out. I pull a sheet up over my face, but that's tugged away.
Before I even open my eyes I start to giggle. At the sound of that, I'm pounced upon. My hair is pulled, my chin is licked by a very scratchy tongue, and I have at least 10 pounds of extra weight on my body. When I finally open my eyes I see 4 of my cats all staring at me, all competing for my attention, and all so very very happy that I'm awake!
A few hours later, as I waver between the worlds of dreaming and wakefulness, I feel a tap on my cheek. I ignore it, hoping it will go away. Another tap, this time more insistent on my eyebrow.
"Maybe if I turn over he'll go away", I think. So I do, and slowly slip back into that sweet unconscious state known as sleep. Until I feel a wet cold nose on my chin, and know that a tongue is about to come out. I pull a sheet up over my face, but that's tugged away.
Before I even open my eyes I start to giggle. At the sound of that, I'm pounced upon. My hair is pulled, my chin is licked by a very scratchy tongue, and I have at least 10 pounds of extra weight on my body. When I finally open my eyes I see 4 of my cats all staring at me, all competing for my attention, and all so very very happy that I'm awake!
Sunday, October 4, 2009
October
October has always been trying for me. It's my first month back in Texas after spending my summers with my family in Minnesota, so it's a little lonely, even though I have lots of friends here. My weekends no longer revolve around recipes that I can try out because I'm now cooking for one.
It's also the month of Doctor's appointments. My job has a wellness program, which goes from January 1 to October 31. I guess they think we don't do any preventive maintenance in November or December! My annual "well woman" exam is scheduled on the 24th. For you male readers, it's my opportunity to get a PAP smear, breast exam, and blood work done.
I went to see the Dentist this week for my semi-annual cleaning. That part went well. Then the doctor came in and discovered two more cavities. Sigh. She asked if I had any more concerns, and I made an off-hand remark about my crowned tooth on the lower left side never feeling right. Last summer I had horrible pain there, and saw three dentists, who all did x-rays and found nothing wrong. The final diagnosis was TMJ. I did my research, and employed massage techniques, which have made a big difference in the pain. The crown itself has been ground down several times, and it still feels too tall. That's all I told her. Really.
So she ordered x-rays...again. I don't do well with x-rays because I have an extraordinarily small mouth. Those that know me well would beg to differ, but there you go. The x-ray went fine; better than normal. The technician came in with good news and bad news. The x-ray turned out, but she x-rayed the wrong tooth. So round two with the x-rays. By this time I was itching to get out of the office - a 30 minute tooth cleaning had already turned into an hour and a half.
The technician came back with "that look" on her face. Now what, I thought.
"This time the x-ray was correct, and I'm sorry to say that you have an abscess and need a root canal."
I really empathize with people that avoid dentists for years. They're not really afraid of the pain, but they are afraid of the money it's going to cost them.
So tomorrow I'll make an appointment for a root canal. I've had two before, so I know that they're no big deal, especially with the endontist I use. And guess what...drum roll...I'm actually happy about it. This tooth has caused me nothing but problems since it was crowned. I knew something was wrong with it over a year ago. Maybe this will finally be an end to it.
So why not celebrate and spend even more money? My dishwasher hasn't worked well for more than a year, and I discovered that my oven was broke after I tried to heat up a frozen meal at 400 degrees and it was still frozen after 35 minutes. When I cook on the stove, I can't touch the metal edging or the burner covers because I'll get a nasty shock. I ordered all new appliances from Sears, then started really thinking about it. My kitchen is not functional. It doesn't have useable storage, hardly any countertop space, and appliances that don't work. So I went online to Lowes.com and used their kitchen design tool to design the kitchen of my dreams. Two contractors I've talked to say that they think it can be done for $20,000. A lot of money, but $20,000 will sure buy me a lot of happiness.
So I took out a loan, and I'm meeting with another contractor Friday. After I finally pay off the kitchen renovation, there are two bathrooms that need doing. The tiles are falling off of the vanity in one, and the other is all peach. Need I say more?
So October is stressful, and expensive. But in the end, is it worth it? Absolutely.
It's also the month of Doctor's appointments. My job has a wellness program, which goes from January 1 to October 31. I guess they think we don't do any preventive maintenance in November or December! My annual "well woman" exam is scheduled on the 24th. For you male readers, it's my opportunity to get a PAP smear, breast exam, and blood work done.
I went to see the Dentist this week for my semi-annual cleaning. That part went well. Then the doctor came in and discovered two more cavities. Sigh. She asked if I had any more concerns, and I made an off-hand remark about my crowned tooth on the lower left side never feeling right. Last summer I had horrible pain there, and saw three dentists, who all did x-rays and found nothing wrong. The final diagnosis was TMJ. I did my research, and employed massage techniques, which have made a big difference in the pain. The crown itself has been ground down several times, and it still feels too tall. That's all I told her. Really.
So she ordered x-rays...again. I don't do well with x-rays because I have an extraordinarily small mouth. Those that know me well would beg to differ, but there you go. The x-ray went fine; better than normal. The technician came in with good news and bad news. The x-ray turned out, but she x-rayed the wrong tooth. So round two with the x-rays. By this time I was itching to get out of the office - a 30 minute tooth cleaning had already turned into an hour and a half.
The technician came back with "that look" on her face. Now what, I thought.
"This time the x-ray was correct, and I'm sorry to say that you have an abscess and need a root canal."
I really empathize with people that avoid dentists for years. They're not really afraid of the pain, but they are afraid of the money it's going to cost them.
So tomorrow I'll make an appointment for a root canal. I've had two before, so I know that they're no big deal, especially with the endontist I use. And guess what...drum roll...I'm actually happy about it. This tooth has caused me nothing but problems since it was crowned. I knew something was wrong with it over a year ago. Maybe this will finally be an end to it.
So why not celebrate and spend even more money? My dishwasher hasn't worked well for more than a year, and I discovered that my oven was broke after I tried to heat up a frozen meal at 400 degrees and it was still frozen after 35 minutes. When I cook on the stove, I can't touch the metal edging or the burner covers because I'll get a nasty shock. I ordered all new appliances from Sears, then started really thinking about it. My kitchen is not functional. It doesn't have useable storage, hardly any countertop space, and appliances that don't work. So I went online to Lowes.com and used their kitchen design tool to design the kitchen of my dreams. Two contractors I've talked to say that they think it can be done for $20,000. A lot of money, but $20,000 will sure buy me a lot of happiness.
So I took out a loan, and I'm meeting with another contractor Friday. After I finally pay off the kitchen renovation, there are two bathrooms that need doing. The tiles are falling off of the vanity in one, and the other is all peach. Need I say more?
So October is stressful, and expensive. But in the end, is it worth it? Absolutely.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Summer's End
It's my last week in my Summer Palace for the year, and summer seemed to finally arrive the last couple of weekends.
The squirrels are back (where do they go?), and Blue Jays have started to disrupt the peace around here. They must be coming through on their migration down south. The chipmunks are madly gathering food for the winter, and soon will disappear underground to have their 2nd litter of the year. Today, a whole flock of wild turkeys marched through my backyard on their way to wherever they were headed.
Two weekends ago, many of the lake people had pulled out their docks for the season, and only a few fishermen were enjoying the gorgeous weather. We went to the "sandbar", which during the summer is covered with beached boats, kids, and dogs. This day it was empty except for its native residents - the gulls.
Changing Reality
We all have notions about what is real. And our perceptions of reality and potential outcomes to our actions make us behave in a certain way. Especially if we fear the outcome.
I used to live my life in fear when I was younger. I feared social situations because I was overweight and thought someone would make fun of me. I feared getting my oil changed because I thought that the mechanic would tell me that my oil was really dirty and I was a horrible car owner.
Seriously.
Instead of overcoming the fear, I changed my perception of reality. I wasn't a bad person just because I didn't my oil changed regularly. People liked me when I was fat the same as they did when I lost weight.
I took my niece to Chicago for her cousin's wedding over Labor Day weekend. It was her first plane ride, first trip to Chicago, and a lot of other "firsts". At the wedding dance, her girl cousins and I tried to get her to come on the dance floor with us. We had already worked up a sweat bopping the night away, most of the time without a dance partner. My niece said no, she didn't want to dance. As her cousins became more insistent, I saw that familiar fear in her eyes. I felt it before. I knew what was going through her mind.
"People will see me. I can't dance. I'll look stupid. Oh my God how am I going to get out of this?"
I took her hands and led her onto the floor, promising her that nobody was watching. After a few minutes, the fear in her eyes was replaced by wonder. Nobody WAS watching! Then the wonder was joined with pure joy. Letting go and dancing is an expression of great joy when nobody is watching. My niece changed her reality, which dissipated the fear.
Dance like no one is watching.
Love like you'll never be hurt.
Sing like no one is listening.
Live like it's heaven on earth.
-William Purkey
I used to live my life in fear when I was younger. I feared social situations because I was overweight and thought someone would make fun of me. I feared getting my oil changed because I thought that the mechanic would tell me that my oil was really dirty and I was a horrible car owner.
Seriously.
Instead of overcoming the fear, I changed my perception of reality. I wasn't a bad person just because I didn't my oil changed regularly. People liked me when I was fat the same as they did when I lost weight.
I took my niece to Chicago for her cousin's wedding over Labor Day weekend. It was her first plane ride, first trip to Chicago, and a lot of other "firsts". At the wedding dance, her girl cousins and I tried to get her to come on the dance floor with us. We had already worked up a sweat bopping the night away, most of the time without a dance partner. My niece said no, she didn't want to dance. As her cousins became more insistent, I saw that familiar fear in her eyes. I felt it before. I knew what was going through her mind.
"People will see me. I can't dance. I'll look stupid. Oh my God how am I going to get out of this?"
I took her hands and led her onto the floor, promising her that nobody was watching. After a few minutes, the fear in her eyes was replaced by wonder. Nobody WAS watching! Then the wonder was joined with pure joy. Letting go and dancing is an expression of great joy when nobody is watching. My niece changed her reality, which dissipated the fear.
Dance like no one is watching.
Love like you'll never be hurt.
Sing like no one is listening.
Live like it's heaven on earth.
-William Purkey
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Flawed But Loved
Senator Edward Kennedy died late last night, and the news networks have been busily reporting on his life and his life's work. At dinner tonight my friend from Ireland asked the table why Teddy's death was so important. After a couple of replies, he said, "ah, so he's like American royalty then."
Teddy was the last of the brothers that included a president, a World War II hero, and a Attorney General assassinated before he could (possibly) win the presidency. He was also the only brother that died from natural causes.
But he is also known for his very public car accident at Chappaquiddick, where his car plunged into water, he fled the scene, and his passenger died. Later, he pled guilty and apologized for his actions, and let the citizens of Massachusetts decide whether or not they would allow him back to public service.
He was known for his work in the legislature, known for small acts of kindess, and also known for his drinking and carousing with women.
In the end then, he was like most of us - flawed; damaged by what life's blows have dealt. But in spite of everything, he was also greatly loved. Even those who didn't agree with his politics are celebrating his life and his work.
I wish only this for my own life. That I live fully, and that people love me in spite of my flaws. In the words of Teddy Kennedy when eulogizing his own brother Bobby:
"My brother need not be idealized, or enlarged in death beyond what he was in life; to be remembered simply as a good and decent man, who saw wrong and tried to right it, saw suffering and tried to heal it, saw war and tried to stop it.
Those of us who loved him and who take him to his rest today, pray that what he was to us and what he wished for others will some day come to pass for all the world. As he said many times, in many parts of this nation, to those he touched and who sought to touch him: 'Some men see things as they are and say why. I dream things that never were and say why not.'"
Teddy was the last of the brothers that included a president, a World War II hero, and a Attorney General assassinated before he could (possibly) win the presidency. He was also the only brother that died from natural causes.
But he is also known for his very public car accident at Chappaquiddick, where his car plunged into water, he fled the scene, and his passenger died. Later, he pled guilty and apologized for his actions, and let the citizens of Massachusetts decide whether or not they would allow him back to public service.
He was known for his work in the legislature, known for small acts of kindess, and also known for his drinking and carousing with women.
In the end then, he was like most of us - flawed; damaged by what life's blows have dealt. But in spite of everything, he was also greatly loved. Even those who didn't agree with his politics are celebrating his life and his work.
I wish only this for my own life. That I live fully, and that people love me in spite of my flaws. In the words of Teddy Kennedy when eulogizing his own brother Bobby:
"My brother need not be idealized, or enlarged in death beyond what he was in life; to be remembered simply as a good and decent man, who saw wrong and tried to right it, saw suffering and tried to heal it, saw war and tried to stop it.
Those of us who loved him and who take him to his rest today, pray that what he was to us and what he wished for others will some day come to pass for all the world. As he said many times, in many parts of this nation, to those he touched and who sought to touch him: 'Some men see things as they are and say why. I dream things that never were and say why not.'"
Sunday, August 16, 2009
30 Years
I swore a long time ago that I wouldn't go to a class reunion. I hated high school - I was so shy, wore glasses and had braces, and liked to read - all things that painted a target on my back that said "geek - please ignore".
I didn't go to my 10th, or my 20th (nobody even bothered to contact me for the 20th, and for the 10th, they asked me to come 2 days prior to the reunion). So when I heard about the 30th, I figured that no way wasw I going to subject myself to feeling like a geeky girl with braces and glasses again.
But I live an hour away from my home town now (during the summer), and I've changed so much since then. If I can charm a room full of Egyptians, or Greeks, or Canadiens, or Maltese, why can't I do the same for people I haven't seen for 30 years?
I spent all day Saturday getting ready. I colored my hair, put on fake nails, flattened my hair, and put on an outfit I last wore in Miami for a conference. I stopped by my brother's house to say hi and goodbye to my niece who was visiting, and the girls told me that my thong was showing through my white pants. Horrors.
So I went home and changed clothes (it was raining anyway, and my white pants would have been ruined). I drove an hour in the rain to my hometown, and arrived at my brother's house, where I would spend the night or not. I still thought that I would duck out early and drive back to the lake if I hated it.
I drove downtown to the park and searched for my classmates. I was clutching my senior class yearbook, thinking that maybe someone would recognize me. Once I found them, the game was on. I plastered the smile on my face, and said "nice to see you" so many times I thought I might die. Especially since I didn't recognize hardly anybody from their class pictures, which I had studied for several weeks before the event.
The boys - well, a lot of them lost their hair, and some gained a bit of weight. The girls though, they pretty much looked the same - hairstyles have changed, and some lost weight, or gained a couple of pounds from babies, but really, they looked the same.
And the cutest guy in the class? Well, he's still cute. He still has his hair, but it's gone all white now. He still has the build of the football player he once was, and has the scar on his arm from the sports-related accident he had our senior year.
We've lost one classmate to death, in a grain elevator accident. Another one might be in trouble with the law, but nobody has heard from him in a few years. Amongst my former classmates there was an accountant, finance director in a plastic manufacturing company, farmers, truck drivers, window manufacturing workers, housewives, teachers, and rancher.
Someone said that our class was nothing special, but that was okay. I beg to differ - almost all of us survived , and several of our classmates have had 20 or 30 year marriages, with kids and grandkids to show for it. And while no one was rich or famous, we all seemed happy...at least for one special night in the park 30 years after high school.
I didn't go to my 10th, or my 20th (nobody even bothered to contact me for the 20th, and for the 10th, they asked me to come 2 days prior to the reunion). So when I heard about the 30th, I figured that no way wasw I going to subject myself to feeling like a geeky girl with braces and glasses again.
But I live an hour away from my home town now (during the summer), and I've changed so much since then. If I can charm a room full of Egyptians, or Greeks, or Canadiens, or Maltese, why can't I do the same for people I haven't seen for 30 years?
I spent all day Saturday getting ready. I colored my hair, put on fake nails, flattened my hair, and put on an outfit I last wore in Miami for a conference. I stopped by my brother's house to say hi and goodbye to my niece who was visiting, and the girls told me that my thong was showing through my white pants. Horrors.
So I went home and changed clothes (it was raining anyway, and my white pants would have been ruined). I drove an hour in the rain to my hometown, and arrived at my brother's house, where I would spend the night or not. I still thought that I would duck out early and drive back to the lake if I hated it.
I drove downtown to the park and searched for my classmates. I was clutching my senior class yearbook, thinking that maybe someone would recognize me. Once I found them, the game was on. I plastered the smile on my face, and said "nice to see you" so many times I thought I might die. Especially since I didn't recognize hardly anybody from their class pictures, which I had studied for several weeks before the event.
The boys - well, a lot of them lost their hair, and some gained a bit of weight. The girls though, they pretty much looked the same - hairstyles have changed, and some lost weight, or gained a couple of pounds from babies, but really, they looked the same.
And the cutest guy in the class? Well, he's still cute. He still has his hair, but it's gone all white now. He still has the build of the football player he once was, and has the scar on his arm from the sports-related accident he had our senior year.
We've lost one classmate to death, in a grain elevator accident. Another one might be in trouble with the law, but nobody has heard from him in a few years. Amongst my former classmates there was an accountant, finance director in a plastic manufacturing company, farmers, truck drivers, window manufacturing workers, housewives, teachers, and rancher.
Someone said that our class was nothing special, but that was okay. I beg to differ - almost all of us survived , and several of our classmates have had 20 or 30 year marriages, with kids and grandkids to show for it. And while no one was rich or famous, we all seemed happy...at least for one special night in the park 30 years after high school.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)