Merry Christmas All You F***king Morons Out There

Today I woke up with the thought - this is my last day of work for the rest of the year! Yahoo!

I joined my first conference call of the day at 8 am. The leader casually announced that there would be another demo tomorrow for the extended core team. Being the only one that has conducted the demos so far, I asked "who is doing the demo since I'm on vacation?"

Silence.

"Well, I guess I hadn't told you about the meeting yet. Can you do the demo?"

I grudgingly agreed, even whilst knowing that it wouldn't be just the demo - I'd have to test it and work with the developers all day if there were problems. Merry Christmas Mr. Program Manager.

There were several weather warnings out last night, and some of the local roads were slick. I was working from home anyway, so I didn't care. Mid-morning a big shot in the company sent out a message to the entire division saying that he was all for safety, but it seemed to him that people were taking advantage and working from home because of the warnings. Merry Christmas Mr. Cranky Big Shot.

I went to the grocery store after work to pick up some holiday cheer. The lines were long, and the cashier seemed really really slow. Finally, only one more person in front of me. I unloaded my cart on to the conveyor belt.

"Ma'am", another cashier said, "I can get you over here".

"But I've already unloaded my cart - I'll just wait."

"She needs to go home - you need to come over here."

Sigh. So I reloaded my cart and brought it over to the next line. Merry Christmas Ms. Thing Cashier.

Payment made, I headed out to the parking lot. A white sedan backed half way out just in front of me and then stopped.

"Good - he sees me. He'll make eye contact with me so I can safely walk behind his car" I thought.

But no - this particular brand of pathetic loser backs half way out, stops while still in reverse, lights a cigarette and then pops a mini, one of those miniature drink bottles you used to get on airplanes. He only finished backing up after he threw the mini out the window into the parking lot.

Merry Christmas you moronic, idiotic, hideously stupid man in the white sedan.