Some of the leftover food from my fridge went into my trash. My trash got full. Thursday is trash day. Thursday morning was also icy.
I woke up and thought, "if I don't get my trash to the curb this morning I'll have stinky leftover vegetables in my garage for another week". So I threw on a t-shirt and sweat pants, put on my tennies, and went to the garage to get the trash.
My driveway is very steep. It looked wet, but not icy until I stepped onto it. Holding on to two big containers on wheels (I also have a recycling cart), I started sliding down the slope.
"This is kind of fun", I thought, until I started going faster.
"This won't end well" was the final thought I had when I hit the dry patch at the end of the driveway and went flying face first into the concrete. I felt my head hit right above my left eye and bounce back up. The trash carts went flying and tipped their contents everywhere.
My first thought was how embarrassing this was...and did the neighbors see? Then I realized how hard I hit my head and hoped the neighbors saw. I gingerly got up, put the trash back into the carts, and limped back inside. I already had a goose egg the size of my fist above my left eye, and I was bleeding from two abrasions on my hands.
Knowing I couldn't get my car out of the garage and down the icy driveway, and also knowing that I might have a head injury, I decided to call 911 for an ambulance. Minutes later an ambulance and fire truck showed up at my curb, and about 10 of the cutest men ever came inside. Dang, I only bumped my head!
Their words for my injury were "impressive", and "huge goose egg". So I got to ride in the back of an ambulance for only the second time of my life. The ambulance attendant dressed my big scrape on my left hand, and told me that this was an unusual call for him. I asked him why, and he said that if had a head that looked like mine he'd be crying. Growing up in North Dakota, I guessed I learned to be stoic. Yes, my head hurt, and my hand hurt, but it could be worse dontcha know.
Almost four hours were spent at the hospital, where they did a CAT scan of my head (I am now able to offer proof that I have a brain), put neosporin on my scrapes and cuts, and mostly ignored me. After the doctor discharged me, the nurse seemed to actually see me (she mostly just asked me a lot of questions before then). She called my bump "humongous" and said "gee, that must really hurt".
The taxi driver that took me home didn't look at my face until I was almost home. The pharmacy people never did look at me. Or if they did, they pretended not to see the disfigured left side of my face.
So, in conclusion, if I had eaten my vegetables instead of throwing them away, my trash wouldn't have so full and I wouldn't have been so compelled to put it out, and I would be able to see out of two eyes tonight, instead of one (the other is swollen shut).
EAT YOUR VEGETABLES!
I woke up and thought, "if I don't get my trash to the curb this morning I'll have stinky leftover vegetables in my garage for another week". So I threw on a t-shirt and sweat pants, put on my tennies, and went to the garage to get the trash.
My driveway is very steep. It looked wet, but not icy until I stepped onto it. Holding on to two big containers on wheels (I also have a recycling cart), I started sliding down the slope.
"This is kind of fun", I thought, until I started going faster.
"This won't end well" was the final thought I had when I hit the dry patch at the end of the driveway and went flying face first into the concrete. I felt my head hit right above my left eye and bounce back up. The trash carts went flying and tipped their contents everywhere.
My first thought was how embarrassing this was...and did the neighbors see? Then I realized how hard I hit my head and hoped the neighbors saw. I gingerly got up, put the trash back into the carts, and limped back inside. I already had a goose egg the size of my fist above my left eye, and I was bleeding from two abrasions on my hands.
Knowing I couldn't get my car out of the garage and down the icy driveway, and also knowing that I might have a head injury, I decided to call 911 for an ambulance. Minutes later an ambulance and fire truck showed up at my curb, and about 10 of the cutest men ever came inside. Dang, I only bumped my head!
Their words for my injury were "impressive", and "huge goose egg". So I got to ride in the back of an ambulance for only the second time of my life. The ambulance attendant dressed my big scrape on my left hand, and told me that this was an unusual call for him. I asked him why, and he said that if had a head that looked like mine he'd be crying. Growing up in North Dakota, I guessed I learned to be stoic. Yes, my head hurt, and my hand hurt, but it could be worse dontcha know.
Almost four hours were spent at the hospital, where they did a CAT scan of my head (I am now able to offer proof that I have a brain), put neosporin on my scrapes and cuts, and mostly ignored me. After the doctor discharged me, the nurse seemed to actually see me (she mostly just asked me a lot of questions before then). She called my bump "humongous" and said "gee, that must really hurt".
The taxi driver that took me home didn't look at my face until I was almost home. The pharmacy people never did look at me. Or if they did, they pretended not to see the disfigured left side of my face.
So, in conclusion, if I had eaten my vegetables instead of throwing them away, my trash wouldn't have so full and I wouldn't have been so compelled to put it out, and I would be able to see out of two eyes tonight, instead of one (the other is swollen shut).
EAT YOUR VEGETABLES!
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