Sad Dream

Early this morning I dreamed that I had just come back from long travels and was now in a temporary place waiting to go home.  I didn't have a home, so I was going to move in with Mom until my home could be built.

I felt the deep contentment of where I'd been, and the sweet anticipation of just going home again to rest somewhere where I  could be quiet and know I was loved.

At the end of the dream, I remember that Mom was dead and I didn't have anywhere to go.  I was alone.  What woke me up was 4 knocks somewhere in the house, and a female voice saying something to me that I didn't understand.  Grace (my cat) heard it too, or she reacted to me thinking I heard it.  Of course there was no one there at 0630.

I know that my dreams are an attempt to reconcile the deep feelings that I have about leaving Texas and moving closer to family.  My Mom used to ask almost every phone call "when are you coming home", meaning "when are you going to give up this silly dream of living away from North Dakota and move back in with me?".  She gradually gave up the notion and celebrated every success that I had, and kept every postcard from exotic places I sent her.

So where am I in moving?  We continue to take delays - insurance okayed a new roof, siding fix, and even some fence repair, but it has yet to be done.  The siding has been discontinued, so we're fighting the insurance company to replace all of it so that the color matches.

And the sliding glass door hasn't been installed yet.  My handyman got cold feet on me and confessed he wasn't sure he could do it.  Then he thought that maybe he could, but got an emergency plumbing call.  So hopefully today?

Here's some progress pics - sometimes I feel like I've done nothing and have to look at them to understand.