Living in the Moment

In a previous post, I talked about how having pets was somewhat like having small children.  And when one of those kids is chronically ill, life can be stressful.

My days with Meep revolve around her breathing and her eating.  At 8 months old, she should be 7 or 8 pounds, but instead is 3 1/2 pounds (and it was a struggle to get her there).  Every morning I wonder if she's going to eat or not, and how much she'll eat before she turns away.  Immediately after breakfast Meep gets weighed.  It's one of the ways I can monitor her health.

Since she was found on the beach by the Detroit Lakes pavilion, Meepers has had one respiratory infection after another.  She's been on antibiotics most of her short life, and the Vets I've taken her to don't hold out much hope of her living to a full year.

Night before last, her breathing was worse than ever.  She was breathing through her mouth, and every 6 or so breaths would struggle to get air.  In bed, she immediately curled up under my chin to "sleep".  I could hear every agonizing breath she took, and cried because there was nothing I could do that I hadn't already done.  I truly thought that she was going to die in my arms.  But then, in the middle of the night, she stood up and sneezed 3 times.  And then she could breathe again!  When morning came, she was able to eat, and while her meouw was hoarse, it was there.

Last night, she was struggling again, but this time she wouldn't come out from under the bed.  Knowing that cats often go off to die, once again I thought she was a goner.  Until 5 am, when she bounced on my bed and started to wrestle with Leo.  She ate a good breakfast, and has been engaging in play, which is rare for her.  Most of the time she doesn't have the energy to chase after Leo and Maggie.

So for now, I'm living in the moment.  Meep is alive, and is having fun.  When I hold her upside down, she seems to have tremors of her head and feet; perhaps from oxygen deprivation.  And by late afternoon, my guess is that she's going to be struggling again.  But this is enough for now.